Yours Truly, Austin Post - Post Malone

31

"Oh! Ava. You didn't have to do all this," Austin says walking into the kitchen with Grayson screaming at the top of his lungs. He certainly inherited his father's lungs that's for sure. Austin opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of milk then boils the kettle as he gets a jug out of the cupboard. "Ok, little man. Chill, it's coming," he says softly to Grayson as he gets his bottle ready. He seems to do a million things at once and he makes it look easy, but Ava knows it's a skill he has fine-tuned. He is a natural even if he doubts himself. She watches as he tests the bottle on his wrist and then moves Grayson so he is in the crook of his arm, placing the bottle in his screaming mouth - it shuts him up immediately as he sucks like he has never been fed before.

"This kid has an appetite - he gets mad if I am even a second late with his food," Austin chuckles, leaning back on the kitchen counter. Ava smiles at him - he looks good, healthy...content. "You look good, Austin," Ava says. Austin chuckles again and rolls his eyes fondly at her. "Gracie has a knack for knowing me better than I know myself - she knew what having Grayson would do for me...he makes me feel almost whole again."

"You have given him a beautiful name, Austin," Ava says. They share a knowing look as Austin nods with a fond smile. "He is all her...his hair, his eyes, his sweet nature - keeps me busy just like she did," he says looking down at Grayson. The love that resonates from him for the little boy in his arms is astronomical.

"He is you too."

"Yeah, nobody is perfect, poor kid, " Austin says with a laugh, Ava finds herself laughing too. Austin's face turns a little serious as he looks back at Ava. "I have this fear. It's not rational, but it clings to the back of my neck. I have had one love ripped from my hands...a piece of me is just waiting for something to go wrong," he says. Ava can understand it - losing Gracie was a trauma that will have an impact on everything he does with his life now.

"I...well...you and I share a knowing when it comes to losing the loves of our lives. That pain is not something people can relate to until they have experienced it no matter how kind and supportive they are...I don't have children so I can't share your full understanding when it comes to your love for Grayson. But...there will always be a next time with him. Maybe focus on that."

"What are you saying? I should not try and do everything myself when it comes to Grayson?"

"You will...you will just do it next time."

Austin smiles at her then huffs out a laugh as he shakes his head at her. "I said it years ago and I will say it again now - you are something special, Ava," he says picking up his phone. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Phoning Gracie's mom to see if she would like to spend the day with Grayson and I tomorrow - maybe I will get a nap in while she fusses over him," he says. Ava smiles, he's doing good. She turns when the timer for the lasagna goes off and busies herself with taking it out of the oven while Austin talks to Gracie's mom.

"Is that lasagna? It's huge and smells amazing," he says when he finishes the call. "Yeah. I thought you could cut it up and freeze it - should keep you fed for a week or two," Ava says. "Can I have some now? I am starving," Austin says placing Grayson carefully in his little kitchen crib. "Who has been cooking for you? Have you been eating?" Ava asks taking out two plates. "I have been cooking myself. I am getting good at it," he says. Ava seriously doubts that given the leftovers she had to scrape into the bin - she is sure she saw an unseasoned boiled chicken breast. But, she won't say anything - she has a promise to keep.

She dishes them each a slice of lasagna then sits down next to him as he practically inhales it then goes back in for seconds. The house still has a quietness to it, but is not sad or depressing - just peaceful. This house is still filled with love. "I see you have started touring again," Ava says. "Yup. Taking a break until Grayson is a year old then he will come with me. But, in the meantime I am writing a new album and doing a few appearances," he says.

He looks happy.

"I went to one of your shows during your last tour."

"You did? You should have let me know I would have given you free VIP tickets."

"Na, it was a shit show so I was pleased I was in the nose bleeds - would not mind if you reimbursed the money I wasted on the ticket though."

"You should send a strongly worded email about your disappointment to someone who cares."

Ava chuckles into her fork. She loves that she and Austin have the same sense of humor. Austin laughs too then reaches over and dishes up a third slice of lugsanya. "So what are you doing with your life now, Ava?" he asks with his mouth full. "I am not nursing anymore. I am studying - I am going to be a teacher."

Austin stops chewing and swallows his food, looking at Ava with big eyes. "A teacher?" he asks. "Yup...had some life-changing experiences...met someone who helped me heal a little so I figured I would follow her advice," Ava says softly. Austin bites his lip and blinks his now watery eyes. "I would have a cocky comment, but...Ava, I think that's wonderful. You will make a great teacher. You are one of the kindest, most genuine people I know," Austin says. "Thank you, Austin...I feel good about my new journey."

"Although...I bet they give you a weird nickname like Miss Fullofshit or Miss Firecracker," Austin says chuckling.

"You just could not help yourself could you?" Ava says now laughing too. "No," Austin says grinning with a mouth full of lugsanya again.
She knows he has a lot of healing still to do - that's the thing with grief. Some days are good, great, and you feel strong - Summer days. But, when you least expect it the loss creeps up on you and you find yourself curled on your bed in a mess of grief - Winter days, there is no in-between for a long time. But, Gracie is still all around him and still very much alive in this house - Grayson too is a saving grace for him.

"I better go, you and your son have kept me the whole day. I have a life to lead," Ava says standing. Austin stands too, cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand. "You didn't have to do all this, but I appreciate it...can't promise it will stay this clean though," he says walking over to Grayson and picking him up gently - like he used to do with Gracie. "It's no problem at all and I would not bother with tidiness either if I had this little guy to distract me," Ava says happily accepting Grayson from Austin when he passes him over for a goodbye cuddle. "You give your dad a break now and then, at least long enough to take a shower - for everyone's sake," she says nuzzling his cheek with her nose.

She hands him back to Austin who walks her to the front door with Grayson back in that little tree frog pose on his chest. "Goodbye, Ava. Don't be a stranger...and thank you. For everything...all of it," he says wrapping his free arm around her and pulling her in for a tight hug.