Yours Truly, Austin Post - Post Malone

20

Ava's mornings are always the same no matter the season, it's the most kept routine - Austin is very particular about it. She wakes and lies quietly in her bed waiting for the quiet steps Austin makes as he walks past her bedroom door. Ten minutes later she always hears a soft knock on her door, slipping out of bed she will open her bedroom door to Austin holding out a cup of coffee for her. She has a mug with a sausage dog dancing in a pink tutu painted on it that Gracie had made for her when she made a new morning mug for herself with Austin riding a bull on it after he broke her mug. Then she will climb back into bed and sip her coffee, sometimes reading or sometimes falling asleep again while Austin and Gracie have their morning tea on their patio.

Then she showers and dresses for the day, and then wanders down to the kitchen. She may or may not hope that Gracie is the one cooking breakfast - then their day begins. Today however is slightly different when she walks into the kitchen. Breakfast has not been started yet as Gracie and Austin are a mix of giggles and worry - they both look a little crazy. "What are you two up to?" Ava asks walking up behind Gracie. "Austin needs to give me my injection but, he's being a bit of a baby about it," Gracie says giggling. "It's just that I want to make sure I am doing it right and the instructions are hard to read," Austin groans and inspects the instructions. "It says I have to stab you in the stomach, lil mama - this can't be right," he mumbles looking between the syringe and the instructions. "Where is the needle?" he mumbles, his frown deepening.

Gracie giggles and looks at Ava, shaking her head fondly. "He might just be freaking out a little," she says. "I am not, I am just being careful," he says. "I can show you," Ava offers. "I want to do it, it will be like sex," he mumbles absent-mindedly as he scans the instructions then freezes when he realizes what he said and looks at Gracie and Ava with big eyes. Gracie collapses back into her chair as she laughs and Ava has to cover her mouth to try and stifle her laugh. "I don't mean it like that," he tries to explain. "You sentimental puppy, I love you," Gracie says standing and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"He means that this is the part we do together. So if he ever chooses to use our eggs he can feel like we did some parts together," Gracie explains to him. "I gathered that...if I may?" Ava asks. "Go on," Austin says. "I won't do it for you, I will just talk you through it. Think of me as a sex therapist," Ava says then starts laughing, Gracie collapses back in her chair in a fit of giggles and Austin smirks with a shake of his head. "If you two are finished taking the mickey out of me can we please begin," he says. Ava bites her lip and peeps into the box. "Ok, first take one of those alcohol wipes and clean the area on the left of Gracie's belly button.

Gracie lifts her shirt and Austin cleans the area carefully. "Now take one of the syringes and a needle, they are in the corner of the box in separate packages. Gracie hold the syringe while Austin is busy with the needle," Ava explains. She explains to Austin how to open the needle so he is not touching the tip and then explains how to put the needle into the syringe.

"Ok, now Gracie you pinch the chunk of skin Austin had cleaned and then, Austin, just push the needle in and empty it. That's pretty much it," Ava says. "Ready, baby?" Austin asks. Gracie grins and nods then pinches her skin. Austin's hands are shaking but he tries to steady them as best he can then very carefully he inserts the needle and pushes the hormones into her lower abdomen where she is pinching the skin. "Oooh," Gracie says suddenly with a slight frown. "What? What's wrong?" Austin asks, worried. "Nothing, it just burns a little," Gracie answers. Austin snaps his head to Ava and she can see betrayal in his eyes. "You said this won't hurt her," he accuses. "It's just a little burning, Austin - just a few seconds," Ava tries to explain but she can see he is not happy with her answer as he shakes his head and rubs Gracie's skin.

"You lied. You said-"

"Now, sweetheart, don't be a bull about this. It burnt for a second and it was nothing I could not handle. Don't be mad at Ava," Gracie says curling her arms around his neck and whispering something in his ear that makes him grin. "Come on then," he says taking her hand and walking out of the kitchen quickly with Gracie as she giggles into her hand. Geeze, those two can't keep their hands off each other. Ava can't stop the smile that creeps on her face - she and Carter were like that. He would touch her any chance he could and it made her feel loved, desired, and wanted. She misses that - she misses him. Her mother is always trying to fix her up with her friend's sons and she has gone on one or two dates just to shut her mother up - but it felt wrong, she felt like she was cheating. She was just not ready to take that step.

Everyone is different - some may take only a few months and for some, it takes a few years - neither is wrong. How could finding love ever be wrong? She had tried out one of those spouse support groups - again at the insistence of her mother, and a few people had shown up with their new spouses. She has been shocked that people can move on so quickly but, the longer she lives without Carter the more she understands it - loneliness is never easy after you have experienced the type of love they had...or the type of love Austin and Gracie have.

She sees the way Austin looks at Gracie, she is the only woman in the world that his heart beats for - he breathes in the air she breathes out. Ava can't help worry for Austin, he can prepare himself as much as he can but, when it happens - it hits you like a ton of bricks.

Sometimes Ava thinks that may just be the reason she has avoided falling in love again - fear lingering at having love ripped away again for no reason at all. She only just survived the loss of Carter - well, technically she only survived by accident. If she ever found love again she would not survive the loss of it. She is still too raw and besides that - she does not think there is a man in this world that would agree to the terms she knows she would need in any future relationship - she wants a man who will love Carter too. That is impossible to ask of anyone.