Yours Truly, Austin Post - Post Malone

53

She has no excuse. She can't lie and say she walked in accidentally or that she was just looking for him. They both know why she is here. She should have waited until he was ready to bring her in here and have a conversation about this.

"I'm...I'm so sorry Austin," she says and Austin's frown deepens slightly then he looks past her and around the room. She has hurt him, she has broken his trust in her - he trusted her to go slow and wait till he is ready just as he had done for her. "I'm sorry. I have no excuse and I apologize for encroaching, but I had no poor intentions. I respect this space and the time you need...I am so sorry," she says trying to control her tears, she hopes he believes her and understands. His eyes flick back to her and she can see there is no anger in them, but he does look uncomfortable, his hand going to his pockets. "What is it about this room that has you so on edge?" he asks softly. She could just shrug it off and say nothing. She could say she was just caught off guard and tell him she is being silly - but they are moving forward and that means some things are hard to say, something are painful to say but he has shown that she can trust him.

"Gracie...she is alive in this house. She is everywhere. On the walls, in the kitchen, the garden...I can see her sometimes sitting on the couch in the den in my head. I have memories of very private moments with her in so many parts of this house. Even Grayson's bathroom where she had soothed me with just her presents as I spoke about Carter for the first time in so long. I love that, it's comforting and I never want it to change. You have opened this home to Carter and now he too feels very much alive and loved in this home, and I am so grateful for that. But here...this room - I can't make this my room, she lives here...this is her room and there is no place for me here. I am so sorry, I know that hurts you, and that is the last thing I want to do."

Austin watches her carefully as she talks and when she is done he looks around again. "I have never been able to go out to that patio again. The doors have remained locked since the day she left...her mug remains as is as if it just waits for her," he says softly. "And that's ok. That's what you need and that's ok...but, I can't stay in here. I am sorry, I hope you understand," Ava says. Austin's eyes flick back to her, there is so much pain in them but it's different pain - she has seen the pain he holds for Gracie and this is not it. This is different.

"I am sorry this hurts you, Peach, that was never my intention."

Oh...the pain is for her. He feels pain in how he has left this space as is, he feels pain in causing her pain. "Please don't...I have...I was wrong to come in here, I was wrong to open this door before you were ready and I am so sorry for placing you in this difficult position...I am going to go," she says stepping past him but he reaches out and grabs her arm gently, pulling her into him and looking down his nose at her tenderly. "I am going to love you when you are strong and when you are weak. I am going to love you when you are happy and then I am going to love you a little extra when you are sad. I am here, Peach, and I love every piece of you...this is your home and I am not going anywhere, neither are you. What we have is wonderful...it's healing. There may be some bumps, some hard stuff but we will figure it out together because I want to love you - I choose to love you," he says then wraps his arms around her and pulls her in tight. Ava blinks back her tears and clings to Austin. "I love you too," she whispers. This is good. He understands.

"You guys hug a lot and you kiss a lot too," Grayson comes walking in with a yawn. "There is nothing wrong with that," Austin says with a chuckle as he continues to hold Ava. "I like hugging and kissing you too," Ava says to Grayson. Grayson rolls his eyes and yawns again. "I know, it's like you love me or something," he says then breaks out in a grin. Ava lets out a laugh, he has her whole heart. "How about we make waffles for breakfast and you can cut up the fruit to put on top," she says. Grayson's grin widens and he nods happily. "Can I help?" Austin asks. "Are you not going to the studio today?" Ava asks quickly. "I am, but I can do breakfast before I go," he says walking behind them to the kitchen, Grayson gives Ava a side eye - anything he touches will be ruined. "You can put the syrup on the top," Ava says, it's the safest thing she can think of.

But, she underestimates him and regrets giving him the task when he tips the syrup bottle and the lid comes off accidentally - drenching the waffles she and Grayson had made so carefully. "Off with you now, so we can live our lives," Ava says ushering him out the door after breakfast. "What do you want to do today?" Ava asks Grayson once Austin is gone. "I have to make my bed, get dressed, then can we go into the orchard - I like playing in there and we can pick fruit too," Grayson says. "That sounds good and after maybe we can go to my apartment and get some more stuff...Mr Tubs too," she says. Grayson nearly pees his pants with excitement and rushes off to get ready for the day.