Yours Truly, Austin Post - Post Malone

25

When the weeks pass and Summer days stop, Ava watches as Austin breaks down near a rose bush at the acceptance. His breakdown is silent, just standing in front of a large pink rose bush in the garden picking the petals off one of the roses - his brain a million miles away. She watches his shoulders shake slightly and his hand lifts as he occasionally wipes the odd tear. She wishes she could offer him some comfort, but there is nothing she can do - words or a hug will change nothing. He just needs his moment. When he finally does walk back in he mumbles a hello to Ava and starts making breakfast, that sensor pad alarm box close. The egg he cracks open into the pan breaks and then he stands and watches as the yolk runs around the pan, uncooked. "Why is it not cooking?" he mumbles to himself. He has not turned the stove on, but Ava won't point that out to him. It will just sound condescending at this point.

She sits quietly as Austin continues to stare at the egg then holds her breath when he suddenly grabs the pan and smashes it onto the floor, clipping a tile and sending uncooked eggs flying everywhere. "One more fucking day! Is that too much to fucking ask?!" he shouts. Ava does not answer, it's a rhetorical question - one Ava used to ask too. He sinks slowly behind the kitchen island and Ava can hear his quiet sobs. She wants to cry too, she can feel her heart breaking but Austin needs any strength she is capable of giving him so she gives him a moment then walks around the kitchen island and sits down next to him. "I am not ready..." he whispers. "You'll never be ready...but, she is still here," Ava says passing him a clean dishcloth. He takes it and wipes his face then gives her a tight nod. "Yeah...she is," he whispers before he stands. He pulls Ava into a tight hug and she can feel his tears drip onto the top of her head. "I feel broken, but if you were not here I think I would have shattered long ago...thank you, Ava," he quavers, his chest shaking as he tries to take a deep breath. He is tired and scared - beaten down.

The days seem to go by faster now and bleed into each other. Gracie's pain gets worse and Austin calls in their doctor, all he can do is prescribe stronger pain medication. He also suggests taking Gracie to a care home, but Austin walks away before the doctor fishes his sentence. Gracie and Austin's parents move in and their siblings are also around for a visit every day. Austin has relinquished cooking duties to his mothers in aid of spending that extra time with Gracie who is now more often than not curled in his arms. The house is full, but not uncomfortably so - the family brings a sense of peace and unity. Dre moves in too - he and Ava are family too. The family share all their meals together, as well as most of their time. The only time and place that remain solely Austin and Gracie's is morning tea on their patio - that's a moment in every day that is just for them.

Gracie has some friends visit and Kimmie visits too with a stack of cards that Austin reads to Gracie from the kids while she runs her fingers through his long hair.

"My favorite thing to do at Miss Gracie's house is have a picnic. It's from Tim. He has drawn people on a blanket...I think. He can't draw well, just saying," Austin says holding up the card for Gracie to see. "He is...four and...I love...his card," Gracie whispers, talking has become difficult for her as she has to stop to pull air into her lungs. "You have said that about all the cards, lil mama, even Josie's, and she drew a horse with seven legs," Austin says grinning at her. "Her's...is the...best. Next...please," Gracie whispers

At times Ava expects Gracie's parents to push for more time with their daughter, but they don't - they give any extra time they can to Austin. They know how much he means to Gracie and they know it's Austin she wants around the most, they also know that when their girl goes their hearts will break - but for Austin, there will be nothing left of him that's not broken. This family is not about selfishness - selflessness, that's what they all are.

As spring days slowly fall away, Austin asks Ava to take over making Gracie's morning tea which gives him a few extra minutes with Gracie he will never get back. She quietly places Gracie's cup of tea on the patio table next to them then snips the elastic in Austin's bun just enough to weaken it. Gracie likes to take his hair out of the bun but Ava has noticed over time that her fingers were becoming too weak to undo the elastic so she snips it to make it easier for Gracie. Then, she slips back inside and stays for a few seconds, watching Gracie's hand peep out of her blanket as she sinks her fingers into Austin's beard that he has left ungroomed then makes her way up to his bun and undoes it, letting his frizzy hair fall as she runs her fingers through it softly. Austin always looks down at her, smiling softly - "I love you," she sees his lips say to Gracie. There is no love quite like their love.

On Gracie's last Autium day, as if she knows it's her last, she asks to see her nieces and nephews. They're all good, they slip into her bed quietly and cuddle her, sharing stories of their recent adventures in her garden or how they have been making good use of the fruit and trees in her orchard. They don't fuss or get bored, but choose to stay by her side as she runs her fingers through their hair while encouraging them to continue with their stories. Ava also gets a moment with Gracie late that night when she creeps into their room just to check on her. She finds Gracie awake in Austin's arms as he sleeps.

"You are awake."

"I am...you...checking on...me?"

"Yeah, it's become a bit of a ritual."

"Ava...thank you for...everything."

"I just stood around most of the time."

"You...became my friend...my best...friend...you are...just...wonderful."

"You make me want to be a better person, Gracie."

"I have no say...in what life brings...after I go...but I do hope...you remain...in Austin's life...whatever that...looks like."

Ava is not sure what will happen after Gracie goes. Austin will be broken for a long time and Ava is on her own journey of healing but, she has every intention of keeping contact with Austin. He is a close friend after all.

"Do you want to hear something good?"

"Yes...always."

"I am going to study to be a teacher. I have started my application."

Gracie smiles at her softly and then runs her fingers through her hair. "I think...that's wonderful, Ava...you will...be very...good at it," she whispers. Austin groans in his sleep and pulls Gracie closer to his body. "He is...like a big giant...puppy," Gracie whispers again with a little chuckle. "I love you, Gracie, I don't have a sister but you come pretty dam close," Ava whispers, her chin wobbling. "I love you too...and it's...an honor to...be loved by...you like that. I wish...I had met you...earlier so we...could have had...more time with...our sisterhood, but I cherish...the time we got. I can't...take my sister...with me...and there is...no one I trust more...than you...with her...you look after her...for me, ok?" Gracie whispers. Ava nods and wipes the tears that have slipped down her cheeks.

"You...better go, my...moms will...be in...soon to check...on me...too," Gracie giggles softly. Ava gives her a watery smile and then walks out just as Austin's stepmom and Gracie's mom walk in. They give her a wink and she smiles sadly at them. Everyone is scared and she is sure everyone sneaks in throughout the nights recently just to check on her. She walks to her room and climbs into bed, hugging her pillow. Maybe by some miracle, it will be a Summer day tomorrow.

Only, it's not. Ava wakes up to a Winter day and deep in her soul she knows - there will be no more Summer, Spring, or Autium days...they are now firmly in Winter and heading straight for a blizzard.