CHAOS

LAYLA

We had reached home, house. Whatever you call it.

"I bought you a toothbrush. You can borrow my toothpaste. I have some clothes of-"
I had gotten used to the silence now.

"We'll go the mall after you're settled in, I mean- you'll need a phone, clothes, shoes-" I was fidgeting with the cabinet handle. Which was the only thing that was seeming interesting to me.

"You're freaking out," he said, still staring at nothing from the sofa he had set his camp on.
I didn't comment on it. I couldn't.

His voice was still hoarse and scratchy, but it still had that accent. That faint accent, you couldn't even recognise it.
It still had that authority, the strong tune of declaration. I let out of huff of air. Making my way to the living room, staring at him. I leaned on the doorframe with my hands crossed in front of my chest.

Had he forgotten me? perhaps moved on? 8 years was a long time. But it wasn't long enough for me. Not to erase him, time would never be enough to forget him.

"You're staring," he stated
"I know," I said, not looking away from him. He finally looked at me, making my stomach swirl. And then averted his gaze back to the floor.

"It's been 12 fucking years Joseph, and you can't even look at me," I said, although I didn't want to but it had to be said

He stole a glance at me.
"What did you expect?" he said, his voice wavering. I slowly joined him on the couch, also staring at my feet.

"I don't know," I sighed out.

And suddenly, he grabbed my hand, intertwining his own with mine. My head snapped to him. Heat reaching my face. 

I looked away, 
I dreamt of this. Him. Back with me, holding my hand but now that it was happening. I wanted to run away. Because I knew, that the person beside me was different.

And it broke my heart that maybe the person I had loved for almost everyday of my life had been forgotten by that person itself. 

I wanted to scream at him, hit him, cry in his arms and run away from him all at once. 
But right now wasn't the time to do that. 

I looked back at him,

He squeezed my intertwined hand and slowly turned his head to me as if he was afraid of it. He looked into my eyes and a frown introduced itself on his face.
"You're crying," He whispered, his hot breath hitting my forehead.

-shit.
"Sorry," I said looking away, retreating my hand to wipe the tears, 

His other hand stopped mine. And kept it right where it was. Slowly erasing the tears on my face.

"I-" I was cut off

"I missed you," he said, and my heart hurt. It ached and the pain flowed through my body. That was it, that was what I wanted to hear from him, that was what I wanted to say to him.

"Please, just stop crying," He said looking away to the ceiling. I sniffled, wiping the tears.
I couldn't stop them from coming. The more I wiped the more the tears started flowing, I let go of him completely, trying to control myself from falling apart right here.

Slow sobs started coming from my chest, The past years played in front of my eyes.
I tried to stop it, I did. But I couldn't stop fucking crying.

I don't know how long it had been when I felt his warm arms wrap around my body, pulling me closer, and securing me in a tight embrace. 

I was too ashamed to look at him. But I was more thankful to him.
I dug myself deeper into his chest and cried like a fucking baby until I couldn't anymore.

And he held me the whole time, and I thought that maybe. HE wasn't gone.