Calm after the Storm

When it all goes wrong

I know a place
It's somewhere I go when I need to remember your face
We get married in our heads
Something to do while we try to recall how we met

Do you think I have forgotten?
Do you think I have forgotten?
Do you think I have forgotten?
About you?

You and I (don't let go)
were alive (don't let go)
With nothing to do, I could lay and just look in your eyes
Wait and pretend
Hold on and hope that we'll find our way back in the end

(About you - The 1975)

[Harry]

Harry knew that going from a student to an intern in a foreign country by himself would be difficult. From the start, the production company indicated that he would have to work overtime. And as much as he has already enjoyed the first week, has completely blossomed in the things he does there and is allowed to get a taste of, he still feels as if he is being fully exploited as a cheap labor. Little money for the intern but all the more work. But what don't you do for your dream and at least he doesn't miss Louis and his family quite so much in these stressful times as his mind is distracted most of the time.

Louis, his wonderful Louis. As he tries to listen to the sound engineer, it's just that little thought that makes him completely drift off. In his head he counts the hours until he can call him, meanwhile a bit problematic with the time difference that both of them now have to consider. One of them is actually always tired when they manage to call and most of the time one of them falls asleep while the other listens to the gentle breathing on the phone. Absently, he nods and grins at the sound engineer, feigning interest as his heart tightens painfully inside him. This longing is so damn bad that he has been crying on his bed every night. His roommate Kelly gives him a worried look every time they have hung up or Harry just feels a new wave of missing Louis comes and knows that shortly afterwards the silent tears will flow into his pillow.

Kelly herself is from America, so the transition isn't that difficult. She is 17 years old, blond hair and blue eyes like Louis. Which doesn't make things any easier. Both will go through different stations in the following year but are never in the same department at the same time. And yet they have grown fond of each other over the few days of their little free time and she is Harry's support when his heart is heavy again. Last night she sat on the edge of his bed and stroked his hair. Just like Louis always does. As he closed his eyes, he imagined Louis sitting there, his fingers running through his curls, and finally he fell asleep. But even in his dreams there is only Louis. Everywhere Louis. In his thoughts, in his heart, in his dreams, as a wallpaper on his phone but not physically with him. And the worst thing is when Louis can't hold back his tears anymore and is already crying on the phone when he takes his call. Not loud, no - but Harry has known him since he was a little boy. He knows how it sounds when Louis tries to keep his voice free of the tremor, how it gets a little hoarse when he tries to suppress it but can't. Harry knows him inside and out. Just as he knows, Louis gets extra cheeky and sarcastic to cover it up. And he teases Harry non-stop. It makes him laugh, but at the same time it makes him sad because he knows how much his boyfriend struggles with the distance.

Starting tomorrow, Harry will even take on another small job. He will only stock shelves in a supermarket by the hour, but he needs the extra money, wants to discover New York with Kelly in the few hours of free time that remain, and go out in the evening, just to live a little. And save some to surprise Louis with a visit. Under no circumstances does he want to beg Anne for more money, but wants to do it alone instead. He is almost torn apart by homesickness and on the other hand it feels so good to live independently, to be mature enough to experience this and to take care of himself.