Calm after the Storm

Safe harbour

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend, hold me
Wrap me up, enfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend, hold me
Wrap me up, enfold me

(Breathe me - Sia)

[Harry]

Harry has been feeling for the last few hours that something is wrong. While their mothers were still there, he covered it up with the silliest jokes he could think of, just to keep Jay's mood up, which probably sensed it too, or at least suspected it, knowing how Jake treated him. In between he tried to calm himself down, like a mantra he said to himself that Louis would be fine, after all Jake's bad conscience would have to be big enough not to hurt Louis either emotionally or physically.

However, the hours alone in which he kept writing to Louis without an answer were horror, the uneasy feeling grew more and more, literally eating holes in his stomach. The whole time he was arguing with himself whether he shouldn't just drop by Louis and Jake's, but he didn't want to make it any worse with his visit.

So he was almost grateful when he now drives through London in a taxi. Frowning, Harry had seen Louis' location in the middle of London, a long way from his apartment. He didn't even have to listen to the song that he sent directly afterwards, he had internalized the lyrics from back then and never thought that Louis would come to the point in his life where he would identify with it in some way. Harry doesn't know what to expect, in what condition he finds Louis and keeps squirming nervously in his seat so that the driver is already giving him annoyed side glances. As they turn into the street, Harry's nose is glued to the window and he gets a first glimpse of Louis. At least he assumes that he is the one sitting there leaning against the wall of a house, his head resting on his drawn up knees. Harry's stomach tightens as he carelessly hands the driver probably too many bills.

"Please wait a moment," he tells him hastily and gets out as the taxi comes to a stop. He immediately rushes towards Louis, who doesn't even raise his head, and kneels down in front of him. He carefully touches his shoulder, which makes Louis look up in shock. The blue eyes carry such desperation that Harry has to swallow to keep from crying promptly. But it's even worse when Louis shakes his hand off his shoulder.

"Harry," Louis says as if he can't believe he's really there and Harry already hears only of the way Louis said his name that he's drunk. His gaze wanders to the empty vodka bottle and the small travel bag beside him.

"Come on Lou, come home with me," he whispers to him, just holding out his hand in the hope that Louis will take it, so that he won't be rejected like before.

Louis is silent, but puts his hand in his so Harry can help him get up. Unsteadily, Louis slumps against him and starts giggling. And crying in the same breath. "I think I'm losing my mind Haz," Louis slurs, burying his face in his hands.

"May I hug you?" Harry just asks, really trying to make sense of Louis here.

"Careful please. My whole body is in pain. Even a bottle of vodka couldn't drown it out, can you believe that?"

"How bad was it?" Harry asks quietly, hardly daring to put his arms around him but of course he does it anyway.

"Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to," Louis sobs, rubbing his face against his chest like a kitten about to purr. If it wasn't all so dramatic, Harry would be dying of fondness at that moment.