Calm after the Storm

Numb and bruised

A/N:

The whole chapter is angsty, that in advance.

But I will announce the rape scene with this symbol ⚠️ and end it with it. You can decide for yourself if you can read it or skip it.

Please don't hate me for it and keep in mind that this is reality for many people and that I like realistic stories despite the cruelty and that's why I write them myself.

TW: suicidal thoughts, violence, rape, non-con oral sex
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It's cold and dark, I think I'm going insane The end is coming, it's true
I'm all alone and I am screaming your name
It seems that's all I can do
But it's too late to turn back now
It's too loud to hear a sound
I'm so lost, I can't be found
It's too late to turn back now
It's hard to focus when your life is a blur
It's hard to see the truth
How can I move on when there's so much to learn
And every road comes back to you

(Too Late - Dead by Sunrise)

[Louis]

It was one of those rare days when Louis was able to breathe freely, not living in constant fear of saying the wrong thing or looking the wrong way, which might trigger his boyfriend's tantrum. To this day he doesn't know how he even got into such a relationship and actually he does. Harry's departure was his downfall. From then on, he fell into Jake's trap. Initially always friendly and funny until a strong friendship developed. But the alarm signals should have been ringing even then. As he pulled him into his radius, Louis was so lost without Harry, always looking for a distraction from his longing for him and for those initially innocent touches that always gave some comfort. A light caress on his upper arm when Louis cried again because Harry was just too far away. The long hugs snuggled together on the sofa when Harry overslept his calls. Escaping the first Christmas without Harry when Jake took him to his family. Because at the time Louis didn't even feel capable of being at home in Doncaster where everything reminded him of Harry who should have been with him.

Jake is away on a business trip for the weekend, it's rare and yet Louis is thankful for every single day without him. He can take care of his bruises for two whole days, just be and recharge his batteries for the next weeks until he gets another break from him. Yesterday was the trigger for his new violence because Louis was sitting on the sofa after his shift in the Café when he came home and was tired. And hadn't cleaned the bathroom yet. Louis would definitely have done it before Jake came home, he only needed those ten minutes in silence to relax for a bit, because he was physically and emotionally exhausted for years. Jake got home an hour early and his boyfriend's face instantly became distorted. He stomped on him angrily, pulled him up with a tight grip on his shirt off the sofa and towered over him. What he found sexy at first, that he was two heads taller than him, now just scared him. He stiffened immediately as Jake's eyes bored into him angrily and his breath came in shallow, short bursts.

"You dare just sit here lazily when I bring all the money home?" Jake hissed and now with both hands on his upper arms he shook him.

"Jake, it's not what it looks like. I've only recently been home and just wanted to rest for a bit before I start doing the housework," Louis whispered, knew that each word was actually too much and Jake didn't want to hear it anyway.

"You are impossible, Louis! I'm working my ass off for this apartment with all its luxuries and then you can't even keep it clean like it was the deal? You can't do anything Louis. With your job in a coffee shop like a student. But you didn't achieve even that, did you? You were too sad to continue school. You got nothing Louis and you should treat me well. Have you been flirting in the Café again? Run your innocent gaze over all the men again? Like the little bitch you are, huh? You disgust me, Louis. I don't even know why I love you. You are useless. But your looks," and then ran his finger down Louis' lip, down his neck to his collarbones, "You're sexy. How about you suck me off as an apology, huh?"