oneshot | boynextdoor

butterfly // h. taesan

"It was my fault."

"It was my fault for falling for her."

Taesan's POV

Have you ever fell in love with someone and that feeling actually disappeared. Have you? If you haven't, let me tell you what actually happened to me.

From falling for her, head over heels to nothing. She was beautiful in my eyes. She was everything that I wished and prayed for. The matter is...she's my friend.

I won't ruin our friendship just because of my stupid feelings.

Let me emphasise that we are...no-we were best of friends. It wasn't her fault for making me in love with her. It was my fault. I was just too young and too dumb.

But you can't blame me when everything that she did just keeps giving me butterflies.

The way she smiles, the way she laughs, even the way she talks...everything that she did would give me butterflies.

It has been a little over a year since I noticed that I have fallen for her. There was a night where I almost confessed to her. Almost. But I held myself back.

Too afraid to risk our friendship.

What I did was-to shut the butterflies inside my stomach and force them to stop flying and going insane until they're completely dead.

Now, whenever I look at you, I don't feel butterflies anymore. I was shocked too. I did.

I even tried to feel it again by sitting next to her and pretending to studying when everything that I did was staring at her.

She noticed it and started to goof around by bringing her face closer to me.

"Finish studying my face?" She asked, grinning.

Once again, I was shocked. I didn't even flinched and my heart didn't beat like it used to when it comes to her doing something like this. "No." I didn't even stutter while replying

"Should I give you a closer look?" She asked again, mocking a serious face.

"No, I'm done." I said, smiling faintly before withdrawing myself from her.

Starting from that day, I distanced myself from her. I did that because I fear that I might fall for her again after all that I did to stop loving her.

After graduation, we parted ways. And even after so many years, she was still oblivious that I liked her.