** don't let it break you heart - Louis Tomlinson **
!! newt is a ghost/spirit in this story !!
sitting in front of the big stone that was covered with the names of those who were lost on the way ti the safe haven, thomas stares up at one name and that one name only. newt. he sits there every morning and every evening, talking to himself, hoping that newt was listening. little does thomas know, newt was indeed, in spirit, sitting there by his side, listening attentively to every word that comes out fo thomas's mouth.
"we're all on our way to 23 now, minho, gally fry and i. we found the safe haven, on the other side of the world, away from where wckd was. we're doing better newt, so much better." thomas says, a sad smile appeared on his face as he looks up at newt's name, his voice still sounded small and lined with pain.
"but i still miss you even more every day. you were a part of me newt, it still feels so wrong not having you here with me." hearing this, newt whispers, "i know you left a part of you in a box in the burning building of wckd, but you're getting so much better"
thomas sucks in a breath and finishes by saying, "i love you newt, i hate that i let you go." silent tears are now streaming down the brunette's face and newt knew in that moment that while everyone was doing better, thomas isn't. he wakes up every day with the feeling of survivor's guilt, hating that newt wasn't beside him.
as the sun started to set, the air starts getting a little colder and thomas wraps his arms around himself, trying to keep warm. newt leans in and hugs thomas, and for a moment, thomas actually felt a whole lot warmer. the sunset gives that sky a gorgeous pinkish-orange colour. thomas looks up and gasps at the sight before him, "the sky looks beautiful newt, did you do that?" newt smiles and whispers in thomas's ear, despite knowing that he would not hear him,
"don't let it kill you thomas, the memories i mean. even when they hurt like hell. whatever tears you apart, dont let it break you heart. time takes time to heal the scars, you can't do it by yourself. everyone here will always be there for you." thomas starts blowing on his hands because it was starting to get a lot colder. newt held thomas's hands in his, knowing this wouldn't really help thomas but held them anyway.
"don't let the memory break your heart even more than it already has. you didn't let me go tommy, i did. but i let go of you, only because i loved you too, and i want what's best for you. had i stayed any longer i would've killed you, so letting go was the best thing to do. the crank in me came and went, and by then we were already driving down a one-way road. what hurt you will pass and you would have learned from it. you'll get better tommy, i know you will."
wiping away his tears, thomas's heart feels warm this time, instead of feeling empty like every other evening he sat by the stone. after a few minutes of silence, thomas spoke up again, "but, despite the pain that your name being on this stone brings me, i will continue to live with the happy memories that i have of us, our best moments together newt, i will get better, i promise, i won't let you down. I'll see you soon, just wait for me. i love you so much newt, forever and always. my heart will heal in time to love you as a whole when i see you again. good night newt, i'll dream of you."
"good night my love, sleep well"
a/n: BYE THIS IS SO BAD 😭
YOU ARE READING
newtmas oneshots
Fanfiction@newtsscraps on tiktok let's all be sad over newtmas together </3 most of my oneshots will be based on songs i associate newtmas with ! (STORIES ARE ALL FAKE AND I APOLOGISE IF THEY'RE A LITTLE CRINGY) TW: could contain mentions of attempted su!c!d...
