It all started when I was sixteen. My name is Nichole, My mother is an alcoholic, and my dad is dead. My mom told me he passed away in a car crash when I was two. My life was lonely, all my mother did was drink all day and work all day. I'm not really sure how her work was not able to tell she was drinking, but somehow she did it. The only thing that was really good in my life was my best friend Carlie. Carlie and I did everything together, at school we were always side by side, and it was us against the world.
Today was the first day back to school, and I couldn't wait to get there, one because my mom was starting her bull shit this morning about how she can never get a boyfriend with me around because she had to spend all her time and money on me. This was a lie. But, I'm used to it already so; I just ignore her and hurry to get ready. The second and most important reason is because I get to see Carlie; I haven't seen her in a whole month because my mom grounded me for not doing her laundry. Stupid I know. But, I just do whatever she says so I don't have to hear more bull shit. My phone alarm just went off telling me it was time to leave the house, so I hurry and put my hair up in a bun, I have long honey blonde hair that flows all the way to the bottom half of my back; my mother has always been jealous of it.
I head down to the bus stop, when I get there Carlie is there. Carlie had long jet black hair, stood at about five foot three, a little chubby but still very gorgeous, even with the big glasses she wore. Carlie and I hug each other like a mother should hug her daughter when she gets home from college. Which I didn't know what a hug felt like from my mom, which saddened me each and every day, this lead me to cutting myself. I've cut myself since I was thirteen, Carlie don't even know about it because I always wear a long sleeve shirt around everyone. The only person that knows is my ex. I'm surprised no one else has noticed yet, well not too surprised of my mom not noticing, she never notices anything; she doesn't even notice the fact that I hardly eat. Suddenly the bus screeches to a stop in front of us, I could feel the hot misty air that comes from the tires. Carlie and I both get on the bus and sit in the way back. Every year our stop is the first, so we get first dibs on any seat we want, and we always sit in the back left seat, with me by the window and Carlie by the isle.
On the whole way to school Carlie kept talking about how much she missed me, and what all I missed. But, I couldn't really pay attention, I never could. As much as I love Carlie and all, my mind just kept thinking about how fucked up my life was, that and my wrist was hurting from the fresh cuts I did last night. I'm not proud of my cuts but it's the only way I can mask all my pain I feel inside. Every day I live with my mom is just another step to me committing suicide, but I try to hold on and stay strong because I'm almost finished with school. Carlie interrupts my thinking by tapping my shoulder and telling me we are at school, I guess I was to wrapped up in my thoughts that I wasn't paying attention to where we were.
We walk into the doors, and as soon as we get in there I was my ex, Devin. I was in love with him from the first time a saw him; our relationship was a dream come true. I felt like Cinderella. We dated for seven months and five days. We broke up because he cheated on me with the most popular girl in school throughout our whole relationship. I found out when we were on a date at the beach, he had a very romantic picnic set up right by the shore. It was like ten at night so not many people were there. We were sitting there eating kiwi and salami sandwiches, my favorite. As we were talking and eating he said he forgot the wine in the car so he ran to get it. He left his phone sitting there, unlocked. It was very tempting to look through his phone but I didn't, I trusted him, until his ringtone went off and a message was flashing on the screen, and it was in eye view so I could see what it said. It said "are you still with her? If not or after come over, my parents are out and we can have the whole house to ourselves, we can do whatever you want baby". After I read that I picked up the phone and read through the messages, which was a lot of nudes and boyfriend and girlfriend talk. When I was walking up he saw me with it. I got up and threw the phone at him and started walking away, crying. He tried to stop me, and I told him all teary eyed, "I loved you!" His reply was, "what are you talking about, what did you see?!" I looked him straight in the eyes and said with frustration, "you know damn well what I saw! You played me from the very beginning! And even after you knew what my life was like! I did everything for you, I was always loyal! I gave up my virginity for you! I loved you!" He looked at me and said "Baby it was a mistake, I didn't mean it, I only want you! You are my everything! She means nothing to me! She was just a toy! Please forgive me babe, please!" I loved him I really did but I had to be strong, with all my mom's ex-boyfriends I learned once a cheater always a cheater, so I looked at him and said painfully, "Forgive you?! How could you even ask me to forgive you knowing what my mom's been through with her ex-boyfriends, I never want to see you again, I hate you so much!" So I ran off crying, I was about six or so miles from my home and I didn't really want to go to my house and hear my mom's bull shit, so I went to Carlie's house. I told her what happened and she told me I could stay with her till I want to go home, her parents were cool with it, they knew my mother didn't care about me. I stayed at her house for three days. When I got home my mother gave me a black eye...
