When I woke up I was in a room at the hospital. When I pulled myself up and looked next to me Trinity was sitting in a chair crying. When she saw me she said,
"I'm so sorry for your loss Nichole. I know he was my brother, but you probably knew him more than I did, and you also had a child with him."
It all came back to me. Devin was dead and there was nothing I could say or do about it. I started crying; Trinity leaned over and hugged me. When she pulled away she said,
"Oh, and don't worry about Cadence, she's at my house with our family."
I then said,
"Thank you so much for e-everything. I don't know what I would do without you."
She didn't say anything; she just sat there and cried. I kept thinking that if I just listened to Devin about my dad, then maybe he would be alive right now. I then asked,
"Can we leave so I can see Cadence?"
She then said,
"Yea, then nurse said when you woke up we were free to leave."
I got up from the bed; we then walked out of the room and down the elevator. When we got into her car Trinity grabbed my hand and said,
"If you need anything and I mean anything for you or Cadence I'm here for you. Also, you and Cadence can stay in my guest house."
I then said,
"Thank you."
She nodded her head and drove off.
When we got to Trinity's house I ran in to see Cadence. She looked so much like Devin, I wasn't sure if I could take it. But, I knew I had to. I held her close. I couldn't stop thinking how she would grow up without a father; I knew I had to be both. But, I didn't know if I was strong enough for that yet. I then asked Trinity,
"Could you show me the way to the guest house please? I think I just need some time to myself for a while."
She then said,
"Yes, of course. Just follow me."
I followed out through the sliding door leading to the back yard. She had a pool and a garden, he house was beautiful. When we reached the guest house she hugged me and said,
"If you need anything I'm just right over there. Just call or come over, I'm always here for you, you will forever be my family."
I then said,
"Thank you."
I walked into the guest house. It was big; it might have been a little smaller than mine and Devin's house.
When I got the living room I grabbed Cadence from her car seat and sat on the couch. I began to rock her to sleep, it was very difficult to do this all without Devin, and I knew the rest of my life will me very difficult. He is the love of my life, and the only person I wished to spend the rest of my life with. But, of course my mother ruins everything in my life. Cadence was finally asleep, so I got up and put her in the basinet Trinity must have put in the living room. After, I went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. The thought of cutting was in the back of my mind, but I knew Devin wouldn't want that. I then started thinking about what Devin said right before he died,
"Nichole, you are beautifully broken, I can barely see the flaw, especially from a distance, which always makes me fall."
What did he mean by this? Devin was really good at poetry, maybe he wrote this one for me. I then remembered how Devin wrote me a poem for my birthday, he even wrote it down on paper, and gave it to me. Could it still be in our room? I don't think I am strong enough to go into our house yet though. I started crying, I still couldn't accept the fact that he was dead. Suddenly, my phone rang; I pulled it out of my pocket and answered it. The person on the phone said,
"Nichole, how are you doing? What happened the other night?"
I then asked,
"Is this you mom?"
She then said,
