I didn't know what to say to all this, I haven't thought of my mother in months and now I have a letter from her that I'm not too sure I want to open. I knew for sure I had to get out of here and clear my mind. I walked away to go to my room to grab my bag, Carlie followed me she asked,
"Are you okay Nichole?"
I couldn't explain things now, I just had to get out of here; I grabbed my bag and ran down the stairs, Devin was sitting on the couch and said,
"Hey sweetie are you ready to party?"
I ignored him and hurried for the door, he followed me but I was already in the car and already driving away for him to go after me.
I didn't know where I was going, I was just driving. My phone kept ringing, I knew it was Devin so I didn't answer it, I couldn't I had too much on my mind right now. I decided to just go to the beach since it was quiet there. When I got there I got out and walked to the little cave me and Devin always sit in, my phone kept ringing but I really didn't want to talk to anyone right now. My mother's letter was to the left of me, I kept debating on rather or not to open. What could it possibly say? Nichole you're in big trouble get your ass back here? Or could she have had a wakeup call and I t says Nichole I'm sorry everything I did to you, please give me a call? I honestly didn't know what to do, I thought maybe if I opened it, it could say something nice and she changed; but that would mean I would want to go back, and everything me and Devin accomplished was for nothing. I have two babies on the way that I made with the love of my life, could I really throw that away over my mother? After how she treated my so badly my whole life. And if the letter did say something mean and hatful it would just get me depressed, and after I worked so hard to forget her and learn to be happy. I couldn't do it I wouldn't. I couldn't let her control my life anymore, if it was an apology she was too late and couldn't fix it, so I decided to tear it up. I feel as if I made the right chose though. No matter what it said it would had fucked up my life anyhow. I ten heard Devin and Carlie shouting my name, I was going to go out there and say something but I just needed one more moment. I threw the pieces of paper in the ocean, and when I turned around Devin was standing right there. He hugged me instantly and asked,
"Are you okay? I was so worried about you!"
I looked up into his eyes and said,
I am now. I reached up and kissed his soft, moist lips; When we got out of the cave Carlie was there, she ran and gave me a hug and said,
"I'm so sorry!"
I replied by saying,
"No don't be, I'm okay. It didn't affect me."
She then asked,
"What did it say?"
I smiled and said,
"I don't know, and don't care. I ripped it up, it didn't matter to me rather it was an apology or a hate letter, she isn't going to control my life again."
She smiled and said,
"Good for you Nichole! But I have one more thing to tell you."
I asked,
"What is it?"
Devin grabbed my hand, I then knew this was going to be bad, Carlie said,
"My mom... She died and I have to get back with my dad, he probably feels so alone right now. I'm so sorry."
She was crying, and of course I couldn't be mad so I said,
"Go; give my best to you dad for me please."
She nodded and gave me a hug, and said,
"I'll call you okay?"
I nodded and she walked away. I couldn't really stop her from going to see her dead mother, the doctors her mom was supposed to die a few years back, but when she didn't they all thought she would just live forever so this must hurt her more than ever. Devin looked at me and said,
"So, how about that romantic picnic, well minus the picnic."
We laughed and I said,
"Of course."
We walked over to our little cave, I sat between his legs and he wrapped his arms around my stomach, we sat there watching the sun set for a while. It was quiet for the longest time then finally I said,
"Devin, did you and Hailey start seeing each other before or after we got together?"
He sat there for a moment and finally asked,
"Why does it matter?"
It didn't matter I was just curious, no matter what he could say I would of still loved him I then said,
"It doesn't its okay. It was a stupid question to ask, it won't happen again."
He sat there for a minute, probably thinking he finally said,
"After. She was over my house hanging out with my little sister, they came in my room dancing, and she had on these tight booty shorts and a tank top that showed off everything, she knew what she was doing when she dressed like that. When they were dancing she decided to come and dance on me, I tried to push her away I really did. After, I felt like trash because I had you and slept with her on the side, it was a mistake and I wish I could take it back every day. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me now."
I turned around and lifted up his face and said,
"I don't hate you; I love you more than anything on this world."
I kissed him, when he broke the kissed he asked,
"So why did you want to know?"
I wondered why I did want to know, was it because I was curious or was there another reason. I then said,
"Because I want you be able to tell me anything. Also, thank you for telling me, now let go throw up."
We laughed and he asked,
"So, did you really rip up the letter?"
I nodded, and said,
"No matter how you look at it, it would have changed my life. And I like my life and wouldn't change it for the world."
He smiled and said,
"I love how you think before you act."
We both laughed and Devin asked,
"Shall we go home now?"
I said,
"We shall."
He kissed me and got up; he grabbed my hand to help me up.
