This is a story about Scarlett and her childhood friend Samantha / Sam. Sam is intersex and uses she/her pronouns. They have been friends their whole lives. Sam is a music artist and a former Marine. Sam has been in love with Scarlett since middle s...
Chapter #14 ____________ Sam’s POV I can’t believe that I am finally recording Pretend my Pain Away. I wrote it years ago. I’m kinda nervous but excited at the same time. “Good morning Baby.” I say to Scarlett as she enters the kitchen. “Good morning Babe. What are you making?” She asks. “Pancakes, eggs, and bacon.” I reply as she pours herself a cup of coffee. “Why do you always get up so early even though you aren’t a morning person?” Scarlett asks me. “Five years in the Marines Baby.” I reply. “Ah that makes sense. You know I was angry at you for enlisting at first.” She tells me. “Really? Why?” I ask her. “I was worried you wouldn’t make it back home. And you had just started your music carrierr and I didn’t want you to lose that but turns out it worked out just ffine.” She explains. “Yeah I can understand why you would be worried.” I tell her. I’m going to work on my script a little while we eat. What time are you recording your song?” She asks. “Later in the day. I’m not sure when to be honest.” I tell her as I take a picture of her because it’s just become something I do very offten. And Tina said that it’s good press apparently but I just do it because I want to.
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“Scarlett is doing some work with her script. Looking gorgous as always.” [@MelanieSloan: So cute] [@SamMily: I know right] [@ChrisEvans: @SamMily you are worse than the paparazzi] [@ScarlettJohansson: I agree] [@SamMily: How dare you] [@RDJ: I think it’s cute that Sam gets these little snapshots of their life]
“Are you ready for this Babe?” Scarlett asks as we walk to the studio. “Yeah it’s time to release it.” I tell her. “I’m excited to hear it.” Melanie tells me. “I’m excited to record it.” I reply. “Alright let’s do this.” I add.
“Tell my Mother tell my Father” “I’m so sorry I was never good enough” “In your eyes I know I’ll always be a monster” “Like who I am made me impossible to love” “When I just needed empathy” “You barried me in so much shame” “I won’t apologize for who I am no not for one more day”
“I can’t pretend my pain away” “I can’t out run the pouring rain” “In my head in my head it’s like I’m hiding a hurricane” “I can’t pretend my pain away” “Judge me for what I can not change” “When I’m dead” “When I’m dead” “You’re gonna wish you believed” “You make me feel like such a burden” “Like my sickness is my fault can’t take this shame” “I wish that you could see my pain just like a cancer” “I’d be a hero not a lier like you say”
“I can’t pretend my pain away” “I can’t out run the pouring rain” “In my head in my head it’s like I’m hiding a hurricane” “I can’t pretend my pain away” “Judge me for what I can not change” “When I’m dead” “When I’m dead” “You’re gonna wish you believed” “When I needed to be loved” “You were the jury and the judge” “Refused to understand” “It messed me up so bad” “The more you tried the less it helped” “It only made me hate myself” “Can’t stand one second more in the house you never were”
I can’t pretend my pain away” “I can’t out run the pouring rain” “In my head in my head it’s like I’m hiding a hurricane” “I can’t pretend my pain away” “Judge me for what I can not change” “I’m not dead no not yet” “I’m beggin you to believe me”
“That was even better than on paper.” Melanie tells me. “Thank you. I’m glad it came out well. And that’s the last one for this album. I have songs for my next one though. I just don’t know what to name the album.” I say to Scarlett and Melanie. “I’m sure you will think of something you always do.” Scarlett says. “And Mama Sloan thank you for saving that song for me all these years. It means so much to me. I hope you know that.” I tell her. “I know dear and just call me Mama.” She tells me. “Ok then I will, Mama.” I say smiling. ______________ Scarlett’s POV Watching Sam sing that song I could see all the emotions from the memories that made her write that song in her face. I can still remember the nights she would come over injured from her father’s fists and feet. The day he shoved her so hard she went through the wall was the first time I witneset what her father would do. He is a horrible man. I’m just glad he is out of her life her mom wasn’t as bad but she didn’t do anything to stop the abuse though. Sam still has nightmares about what her father did. “Hey what’s going on? You’ve been off since I recorded my song.” Sam asks when we are in our room getting ready for bed. “I remember the day you wrote that song.” I tell her. “Oh. Not one of my best days but I had you.” She says pulling me in for a hug. “Do you want to talk about it? I know what my dad did was hard ffor you too. You had seen it happen.” She asks. “Yeah actually I do.” I tell her.
A/N Ok guys the next one is going to be emotional. Pretend my Pain Away belongs to Citizen Soldier. Anygays see you in the next one.
