Old friend Book 1

Chapter #38

Chapter #38
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Sam’s POV
Tonight Benji and I are going on Jimmy Fallon to announce the new album. “Benji there’s nothing to be nervous about.” I tell him. “Yeah Uncle Benji you’ve got Ma with you just talk about the music and you’ll be ok.” Sarah tells him. “You’re right let’s do this.” He says confidently.

“So tell us about the new album.” Jimmy says. “Well we’ve been working on it for a while now and we would like to play two songs from it instead of the one because we couldn’t pick.” Benji says. “Wow that’s amazing. What songs will you be performing for us?” He asks. “Well they actually go right with each other the first one is ‘Words That Don’t Exist’ and the second is ‘Tattoos’ they are the emotional ones too.” I tell him. “So I should get tissues ready.” Jimmy says. “Maybe.” Benji replies. “Shall we do this Benji?” I ask him. “Yeah let’s do this.” He says as we get up to go to the stage. “Ok everyone this is ‘Words That Don’t Exist’.” I tell the crowd.

“I’m sick of running out of breath”
“Explaining what is in my head”
“I don’t know how to say out loud”
“I wish that I was dead”
“Since I was young I only bleed”
“In languages nobody speaks”
“What you can’t feel can still be real”
“I’d kill to make you see”

“I’m on my deathbed and no one knows”
“Till somebody can crack this code”
“I’ll be here writing on my wrists”
“All these words that don’t exist”
“I’m in a place you’ll never find”
“Till somebody learns to read my mind”
“I’ll be hanging off the edge of this”
“All these words that don’t exist”

“I’m sick of spilling out my soul”
“In dialects nobody knows”
“What I express it hurt much less to cut my tonuge from my throat”
“Now I treat silence like a gift”
“Cause being brave is just a trick”
“That proves there’s still more room to feel”
“Much more alone than this”

“I’m on my deathbed and no one knows”
“Till somebody can crack this code”
“I’ll be here writing on my wrists”
“All these words that don’t exist”
“I’m in a place you’ll never find”
“Till somebody learns to read my mind”
“I’ll be hanging off the edge of this”
“All these words that don’t exist”

“All these words that don’t exist”
“All these words that don’t, no”
“I don’t know if I can be the hero”
“I don’t know if I can save the day”
“Talked myself off a million ledges”
“Just for everyone to think there fake”
“SOS I’m sending signal fires”
“Made up of buirses and bitten skin”
“I hope that heaven will take this lier”
“Because the line has never been this thin”

“I’m on my deathbed and no one knows”
“Till somebody can crack this code”
“I’ll be here writing on my wrists”
“All these words that don’t exist”
“I’m in a place you’ll never find”
“Till somebody learns to read my mind”
“I’ll be hanging off the edge of this”
“All these words that don’t exist”

“All these words that don’t exist”
“All these words that don’t exist”

I finish the song and everyone starts to applaud. “Ok everyone you ready for the next one?” I call out getting a chorus of yes’s and yeah’s. “Ok everyone this next one is ‘Tattoos’.” I say moving over to the piano I remove my shirt leaving me with my tank top showing my scars.

“Used to pull down my sleaves”
“Used to put make up on”
“So everyone would think I’m fine and nothings wrong”
“I buried all the pain”
“Used to feel so ashamed”
“Of all the things I wrote about myself with razor blades”
“But I kept holding on until the final page”
“Survive the story cause the ending changes everything”

“And now I wear my scars just like tattoos”
“Because I’m so damn proud of what they put me through”
“I learned without a doubt that”
“Every mark that makes you feel worthless”
“Can give you a purpose”
“And now I wear my scars just like tattoos”
“Cause I’m a miracle every cut is proof”
“Another chapter written in the story”
“What couldn’t kill me made me something so brave”
“I wear them like tattoos”

“I’ve held my story down”
“I’ve swallowed every scream”
“Thought if I wasn’t fake they’d think that I’m a freak”
“I buried all the pain”
“Used to feel so ashamed”
“Until I learned that you can’t change the past”
“Just choose the frame”
“So I’ll keep writing songs”
“Until they know my name”
“Cause there’s a kid out there”
“That’s hearing this that’s in that place”

“And now I wear my scars just like tattoos”
“Because I’m so damn proud of what they put me through”
“I learned without a doubt that”
“Every mark that makes you feel worthless”
“Can give you a purpose”
“And now I wear my scars just like tattoos”
“Cause I’m a miracle every cut is proof”
“Another chapter written in the story”
“What couldn’t kill me made me something so brave”
“I wear them like tattoos”

“No more dismorphia”
“I will not greive”
“The darkest days that made a masterpiece”
“I choose to celebrate what made me, me”
“Cause a heart of gold”
“No it don’t come cheap”
“And this heart of gold’s one the world will need”

“And now I wear my scars just like tattoos”
“Because I’m so damn proud of what they put me through”
“I learned without a doubt that”
“Every mark that makes you feel worthless”
“Can give you a purpose”
“And now I wear my scars just like tattoos”
“Cause I’m a miracle every cut is proof”
“Another chapter written in the story”
“What couldn’t kill me made me something so brave”
“I wear them like tattoos”

I finish the song and I have tears running down my face. There isn’t a dry eye in the crowd. “Wow. That was just wow.” Jimmy states wiping away his tears. “Thank you we worked really hard on these.” I tell him. “Don’t be so humble. ‘Tattoos’ was all you Sam.” Benji says. “You did amazing Babe.” Scarlett says as I enter the dressing room. “Thank you.” I tell her. “Let’s go home I’m exhausted.” I say. “Let’s go.” Scarlett says.

A/N
Tattoos and Words That Don’t Exist belong to Citizen Soldier. Only two more chapters till the next book. Anygays see you in the next one.