An American At Hogwarts: Book Three

Chapter Forty-Seven

After my first period Transfiguration class, I had a brief break before I'd be sitting through a double period of DADA with Umbridge, my personal nightmare. I had about fifteen minutes before class started, and one last thing on my mental to-do list I wanted to take care of before I lost my nerve. I ducked down an empty corridor and tucked myself into a small alcove, away from any prying eyes. I'd been spending a lot of time in empty corridors in the few days I'd been back at Hogwarts this year, and I had a feeling that trend was going to continue.

I whipped out a pen and paper and stared at the blank sheet before me, a storm of thoughts and emotions swirling around in my brain. I shook my head, even though it didn't do much to help, and started writing what my gut told me to before I could think better of it.

Percy,

Who knows if you're even going to open this–I'm still furious with you, so I don't want a letter back unless it comes with the announcement of your decision to leave your post at the Ministry because you've finally redeveloped your conscience. We are still not friends. But I saw the news about the Azkaban escape, and I wanted to remind you to be careful. It's got nothing to do with Sirius Black, so you're all probably looking for them in the wrong place anyway, but...

I paused for a long minute, fighting with myself over what to say next or whether I should just crumple the letter up and forget this whole idea. Eventually, the warring thoughts and emotions in my stomach forced their way out onto the page, steamrolling the doubts.

...just don't get yourself killed out there. It sounds like these people are pretty dangerous, and I've had enough late-night panics about a member of your family being in mortal danger to last a lifetime and then some. I haven't forgiven you, most of all because you refuse to change, but if you get in trouble, CALL ME. Or owl me or floo me or whatever is available to you. Just don't die on me.

I finished writing the last period, then put away my pen and folded up the letter before I could convince myself it was a bad idea. Umbridge had forbidden me from sending him Howlers, but not regular letters.

I still wanted to punch Percy in his stupid, smug face. The twins had told me, when I'd finally broken down and asked, that Percy hadn't visited or checked up on their father once while he was in the hospital. If I saw him in person again, it'd be a 50/50 chance of me breaking into tears from frustration and anger, or finally just smacking him upside the head and hoping that fixed something. Most likely, I'd end up doing both.

But I'd been too close to death too many times not to realize that hating somebody for so many awful, stupid decisions and wanting to do everything in your power to make sure they didn't die were feelings that could coexist. I'd come too close to losing the people I cared about most in the world to separate those thoughts and emotions. I still had a little part of me holding out hope of seeing Percy someday in the future groveling and apologizing once he saw the error of his ways, and even if he didn't, I still didn't want to read his obituary in the next morning's paper.

For now, my letter would have to do. Thankfully, Jimmy Tallon was with me for the moment, meaning it was my turn to send a letter to my family instead of the other way around. I decided my family could wait a little longer than usual as I attached the letter to Jimmy's leg and sent him off. I trusted him to get the letter to Percy, and maybe to give Percy a good peck in the head for me while he was at it.

I wanted to stay in the Owlry and watch Jimmy disappear over the horizon, and maybe decompress a little from sending that letter. Unfortunately, I absolutely did not have time for that. Thankfully, I managed to make it back to class just in time to walk in and sit down calmly so Umbridge had no reason to ask where I'd been. As I'd been doing every single DADA period since I realized what a monster she was, I sat at my desk with my head down, working on other projects and trying to pretend she didn't exist.