Erkenci Kuş: Broken Promises

Part 7: Sanem

Song: Sam Smith's Lay me down (lyrics)

Yes, I do, I believe
That one day I will be where I was
Right there, right next to you
And it's hard, the days just seem so dark
The moon, and the stars are nothing without you
Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?
No words can explain the way I'm missing you
Deny this emptiness, this hole that I'm inside
These tears, they tell their own story

Told me not to cry when you were gone
But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong
Can I lay by your side, next to you? You
And make sure you're alright
I'll take care of you
And I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight

I'm reaching out to you
Can you hear my call, boy?
This hurt that I've been through
I'm missing you, I'm missing you like crazy, you

Can I lay by your side? Next to you, to you
And make sure you're alright
I'll take care of you
And I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight

Oh, lay me down tonight
Lay me by your side, whoa
Lay me down tonight
Lay me by your side
Can I lay by your side? Next to you, you

*****************************************************

"Gunaydin, Anne, Babacığım," Sanem, dressed in her bathrobe and house slippers, shuffled to the dining table in the middle of the kitchen after kissing her parents and slumped into a chair.

The table was laden with various items of kahvalti but not even the delightful aroma of Sanem's favourites - beyaz peynir, simit, sucuklu yumurta, sucuk, cucumbers, olives and tomatoes - tempted her this morning. Particularly distressing was the sight of the golden Turkish tea in a glass. It reminded her about a certain person she would much rather forget.

Mevkibe looked at her younger daughter from head to toe, a puzzled frown marring her forehead as she noticed the dark circles around Sanem's eyes and her reddened nose. Pushing the errant curls that flopped onto her face, she wiped her hands on her apron and shoved them behind her ears. She looked at Nihat, whose face mirrored the silent questions in his wife's eyes. Mevkibe, not usually the most subtle person, sensed her daughter didn't need her customary needling right now, so shrugged and turned back to the stove.

"Sanem, your two-day leave is up. I don't even understand why Can bey let you have time off when you just started working. Why aren't you dressed for work?" Leyla, all dolled up in a dark blue, high-neck form-fitting dress and a silver belt, her face adorned with light make-up which enhanced her smooth skin and her dark blonde hair brushed till it gleamed and held back in a low ponytail, eyed her sister from head to toe, her eyebrows raised haughtily and her upper lip turned up in disgust. "I'm not waiting for you."

Having sent Deren a text requesting two days off work to deal with a 'personal matter', Sanem had spent the last two days in a blur: sitting at the rocks, staring out at the sea, aimlessly wandering up and down the coast, and at Ayhan and Osman's house. She couldn't pretend anymore.

"You don't have to wait for me. I am not going to work. I quit." Sanem replied, not looking at any of her family members as she mindlessly ripped a simit to tiny shreds, then dropped the pieces  on her plate.

"Ne? Mevkibe, Nihat and Leyla all screeched in unison.

Sanem jumped up, shoved her chair back and darted out of the kitchen.

As her thumping footsteps resounded from the stairs, Mevkibe turned to Leyla, alarm gleaming in her eyes. "What's wrong with your sister?"

"Bilmiyorum, Anne," Leyla shrugged, looking anywhere but at her mum, whose laser eyes had the ability to drill through blubber and get to the truth. Mevkibe's eyes spoke a language of their own eschewing the need for words. It was the stuff of legends how, with just one piercing look, her 'victims' found themselves spilling even secrets she hadn't asked of them, their tongues loosened by the intensity of her glare. Her husband and children often joked that Mevkibe missed her calling being a housewife: she belonged in the Intelligence Service.