Erkenci Kuş: Broken Promises

Part 18: Sanem

Song: Stupid boy by Keith Urban

Well she was precious, like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different
Stupid boy, you can't fence that in
Stupid boy, it's like holdin' back the wind

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
Stupid boy
Stupid boy, oh

So, what made you think you could take a life
And just push it, push it around
I guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down, oh

Well, She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy

Oh, you always had to be right
But now you lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive, oh ho
Yeah, yeah

Well, she laid her heart and soul right in your hands, yeah
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans, yes you did
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy

Oh, I'm the same old, same old stupid boy, mm
It took a while for her to figure out she could run
But when she did, she was long gone, long gone

Mmhm
Ah, she was long gone
She's long gone
Mm, yes, she is
Yeah, oh

Oh, no-one's ever going to love me like she loved me
And she loved and she loved me
God, please, just let her know
I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, baby
Yeah, I'm down on my knees
She's never coming back to me

***

Thankful that Can hadn't followed her as she'd fled the club and headed home to the mahalle, Sanem tossed and turned as the scene replayed over and over in her mind. Fidgeting restlessly, she couldn't find a comfortable position as nervous energy coursed through her veins and arteries. She was a bundle of tense nerves. Thoughts corkscrewed around her head in a dizzying vortex, a cacophony of anxious whispers that drowned out reason, all jostling for pre-eminence, leaving her feeling adrift in an ocean of uncertainty.

It was he who'd broken things off between them. It was he who'd said he couldn't trust her. It was he who'd declared that all they could be is friends. It was he who'd moved on to the leggy, red-haired CEO. So why was he so angry to find her dancing with her childhood friend? Why was he trying to explain away the tabloid photos? What was his game plan? She couldn't make sense of any of it.

A snippet of their dancefloor conversation floated into her mind.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," she retorted icily, jerking away from him.

"You."

"Pardon?" Her head tilted upwards as confusion clouded her eyes.

"You. You are what helps me sleep at night."

Her heart skipped a beat, a palpable pause that reverberated through her chest. Heat suffused her body. She squeezed her legs together to ease the tingling in her nether regions.

Why was Can sending her these mixed signals? What did he expect her to make of his words? One minute, he was pushing her away; the next, he was saying things that made her hope for things she daren't. Why, just when she'd accepted things were truly over between them, and she was taking steps, though baby ones, to move on, was he trying to mess with her equilibrium? His yo-yoing behaviour was giving her a neck sprain.