Erkenci Kuş: Broken Promises

Part 13: Can

Song: Fooled by my hopeful heart by Luke Roose

I just want to know what is it gonna take?
What is it gonna take for me to get you back?
Because I f***ed up and I'm not happy

There's a hole inside of me
And I let you put it there
Innocently loving you
Without a care in the world
Never saw a lie for what it was
Trusted you till the bitter end

You say all the right things
Do all the wrong things
Damn I put up with that
You say that I'm sorry again and again
I shouldn't have believed it

Fooled by my hopeful heart
Fuelled by my love for you
Believed in your beautiful eyes
Scarred by the memories
Wish I didn't love so much
Lock up all my trust
Believed in your honesty
Blinded by all my love
Fooled by my hopeful heart
Fuelled by my love for you
Believed in your beautiful eyes
Scarred by the memories
Wish I didn't love so much
Lock up all my trust
Believed in your honesty
Blinded by all my love

Now I wish I never called you mine
Cause all along it was a lie
Why couldn't I see that I don't mean a thing to you
In my heart I know now
That I should let you go
But I want it to work anyway
Though I am hurting
I cannot give up on my love

****

When he'd sent the text earlier in the day, he had no idea whether she would actually turn up. He'd come anyway, hoping that she would too. He could tell she'd read the message from the double ticks but she hadn't replied. But here she was! A sight for sore eyes.

He watched her walk towards him, drinking in the sight of her like he would a tall cold drink on a scorching summer's day. His whole world lit up once again. The thundering of his heart was so loud, he was thankful for the sounds of the crashing waves otherwise she would certainly hear it. God, he'd missed her!

Scrambling to his feet, he forced himself to keep his hands to his sides when all they itched to do was pull her close and never let go.

"Merhaba, Can bey," Sanem said, her voice a little more than a whisper.

Can's eyes roved around her face. The light was gone from her eyes. In its place was a dull acceptance. He'd done that. Extinguished her lights. His heart broke. "Can bey?" Are we back to that, Sanem?" He gazed at her as he quirked his eyebrows.

"Well, that's how 'everyone else' would address you, isn't it?" Sanem quipped, arms akimbo, her eyes blazing, daring him to contradict her.

Raising his right hand slightly, he exhaled. "I didn't come to fight, Sanem. I just want to talk."

"Tamam, I'm listening," she replied, crossing her arms.

"Sit. Please!" Can pleaded, placing both hands on her shoulders and coaxing her down on to the rocks.

For a few seconds neither of them spoke. Ablaze with muted amber lights, the Istanbul skyline bathed the coastline in mellow marigold tones. A soft breeze tinged with brine threw up a light mist from the sloshing waves.

"When I overheard you and Emre talking at the fairground, I was so mad...so furious. I just couldn't..." He shook his head. "Then when I asked you if you what you'd said about leaving me was true, you confirmed it was. I couldn't believe it. I was devastated."

Sanem stared at him, a sheen of tears glistened in her eyes but didn't fall.

Can looked away as he gathered his thoughts. "I know I overreacted at Fabri's party. I didn't listen to you, and I owe you an apology."

"An apology?" Her brow wrinkled in confusion.

"Yes. I know about everything."

"Everything?" She peered at him intently.