Erkenci Kuş: Broken Promises

Part 14: Sanem

Song: Gravity by Sara Bareilles

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love
And not feel your reign

Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand
So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am, and I stand
So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're keeping me down, eh ooh
You're on to me, on to me, and all over

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long

*****

Flexing her fingers and twisting her neck from side to side to rid herself of the crick she was developing after working at her laptop for hours, Sanem leaned back in her chair as her eyes roamed around the room. The bullpen bustled with activity and friendly chatter as the Lütuf staff got on with their daily tasks. Light streaked into the room from the large skylights in the roof and soft music floated out of the wall-mounted speakers.

It had only been two weeks since she'd started working there but she was loving every minute of it. After the first few days of induction and learning about the inner workings of the charity, she'd been thrown right into a number of tasks, many of which she was enjoying. The team, a motley crew ranging in age from twenty to fifty-five, had welcomed her, making her feel at home with their warm banter and congenial competition.

Her mind went back to her first day. She'd spent the night before tossing and turning, thinking about her talk with Can. Their talk at the rocks which she'd hoped would bring her some closure, had done nothing of the sort. Confusion had whirled around her head. They were no closer to a resolution than before. As a matter of fact, she had no idea where things really stood between them.

When he apologised and told her he'd forgiven her, she'd felt the leaden weight she'd been hauling around lift and relief had flooded her. The lightness had been short-lived though.

"Arkadaşlar." That's what Can had said they could be. As laughable as the idea was, and were she not so cut up by his suggestion, she would have been outright amused, but, as much as it pained her, if that's all he was offering, she was willing to accept it.

Though they'd known each other for only a short time, she struggled to imagine her life without him. Especially as it was her fault they were here in the first place.

As was characteristic of their relationship, they hadn't fully communicated with each other. She had left the rocks no closer to understanding where things stood with their relationship. She spent the fitful night ruminating about what the future held for them both.