The Trilogy: Smuts & One-Shots

Heartbreak & Tears~: Sebastian Stan

Part Two:

Three Months Later

My breath quickens as I stare out my window. Watching the snowfall over New York City. The movie had been all said and done. My mind still floods over with Sebastian. I want to go home, I think to myself, everyday. I may have an apartment of my own here. I may still be in the city I've grown to love, but I wasn't home. Not without Sebastian.

I see my phone light up, but I ignore it. I know who it is and I'd rather not talk to him. He's the reason I'm sitting here. In a bedroom that feels so empty without Sebastian. It feels cold even though my heater hasn't stopped running since the snow began to fill the street. I let a tear fall as I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. My body is filling the window sill as I sit there. Letting my emotions take over me..

I want Sebastian.

~~~~~~

I woke to the sound of police cars. Even though I should be used to it by now, it still frightens me. I sigh to myself, knowing I won't be able to sleep for the rest of the night. I roll over and let my legs swing off the bed before sitting the rest of my body up and standing to my feet. My cut tank top is riding up as I stretch. My bare thighs are cold as the cracked open window allows chilly air to blow through.. Why did I leave the fucking window open?

My feet drag as I walk to the window and close it. Looking down, I see people walking around. Heavy coats weigh down their bodies as they walk the sidewalk that hugs the road. Sebastian used to love walking in the snow with me. He knew I didn't get much of it where I was from. The sky only cried ice in my hometown. New York always had snow. It was refreshing when I moved here. It was a chance to let my inner kid come out and throw snowballs. Make snow angels even though the snow would sting my back with the coldness that erupted from the white sheets that lay flat on the ground. Sebastian would watch me and laugh. He never failed to reach his arm out and try to lift me up, but I always pulled him down to me. His body on top of mine as he laughed. He'd always been the first to stop laughing though. He'd look at me. His eyes were soft as he took me in before planting a kiss on me. I miss it. I miss him.

My phone still sits on the window sill. It catches my eyes as it flashes. This time I picked it up. Looking at the multiple missed calls and texts I have, but I ignore them all. Instead, I unlock my IPhone and tap on Instagram. Hitting the search bar and seeing Sebastian's handle already pop up. I click on it. The pink ring surrounding his profile picture. He posted. I click on it.

Tears start to well in my eyes as I see the snow fall. His reflection in the window as he records, but that's not what's pulling the emotion from me. It's the caption. "The snow was always better with her."

I want to slide up and tell him it was better with him. I want to tell him I miss him and I don't want to live without him, but that's not how I wanted to come back to him. What if he hasn't had enough time? What if he doesn't want to see me just yet? Or hear from me.

I let my tears fall, once again. My heart shatters at the memory of that night. I hope you come back, he said. I want to come back.

~~~~~~~~

My fur coat hugged my body. The snow is crunching under my feet as I walk. I didn't know where I was going. I just needed air. I needed to breathe. New York air may not be the best air to breathe in but it's helping either way. People pass by me. Going on about their business. That's what I liked about New York. No one cared. They weren't nosy. They didn't have time to stop and talk or hug or take pictures. It may be a loud city but it's quiet for me. It's rushed but calming. I loved that about New York.