The Whiskey Brothers: Willard

Walking Away

Willie

I walked out of my office without another word. Not that I didn't have anything to say, I have plenty to say, but I know that it would go into one ear and right out the other. I know that Evie isn't ready to hear it and if I told her, it wouldn't change a thing, at least not right now.

Would it ever? Would we ever actually have a real shot at a relationship? Seems like it is just wishful thinking now.

My only choice is to walk away even if I fucking hate the idea.

I don't regret it...not a single second of it. However, that doesn't mean that it should have happened. It should never have happened. By having sex, we further complicated our dynamic, if this even is a dynamic. And, still, I don't regret it.

The feel of her soft skin against mine made me feel alive for the first time in my life, as if I'd been a walking and living corpse up until the very moment we came together. And, fuck, it was powerful, magical, and life changing. I feel like a different man...a new man.

Evie is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on and sex with her was other worldly, and I have never felt anything like it before, and I know that I never will. Evie is it for me. No one, and I mean no one, could compare or even come close. I'd accepted that fact years ago and now that I've actually had a taste, I know that it is absolute.

I walked out of the distillery and saw Wyrn and Wilder pulling up. I waved to them before climbing into my truck and driving away.

I drove and drove and drove. I wasn't going anywhere in particular, but I didn't stop driving until I reached Portland. I pulled into the first hotel I saw and got a room for the night. I couldn't be around my family, and I couldn't be anywhere near Evie right now.

Her words echoed in my mind.

"It can't happen again, Willie...I'm sorry."

Fuck, even the words sounded wrong. Didn't she see that? Didn't she know?

I know that she feels something. I fucking know she does. She might deny herself, but I sure as fuck won't. I can see it. I can see her. And I know that she is hurting...mourning...even if she doesn't see it herself.

I knew it hadn't changed a thing, not a single damn thing. If anything, she felt even more distant from before. And I had done something I had never done before...I ran. I turned my phone off altogether and threw it on the bedside table before crashing on the bed in a heap.

Did I do something wrong? Is it me? Am I not good enough?

I know it isn't me. It is Evie and her fears, and despite it all, I couldn't be angry with her for having those fears. I can see it now and it makes sense.

Evie is scared. Scared that she might let me in only to loose me like she lost her momma and then her papa. What Evie doesn't know and doesn't see is that I am not going anywhere. Ever.

And, yet, I couldn't help but let myself slip into an uneasy darkness. I know the right thing to do would be to contact my brothers, they'd be here in a heartbeat, but I don't want word to get back to Evie that I am fucking losing it. The last thing that I want is for my brothers to give Evie a hard time.

It isn't her fault that I am feeling this way. I had done this to myself.

Evie's words from the funeral echoed in my mind. It is because of her parents that she wants nothing to do with love. She is afraid of getting hurt and I couldn't blame her, nor could I imagine the pain she is in right now. But I had no intention of breaking her heart. I had no intention of hurting her, of leaving her.

Once she becomes mine, she is mine and I am not going to let go.

I know that relationships are difficult, but I know that I want to be with her, and I will do whatever it takes. Even if it means letting her go, for now.

-

Somehow or another, I managed to fall asleep only to wake up at sunrise the next morning. I checked out of the hotel and headed home.

My brothers are probably worried about me.

I turned my phone back on when I was thirty minutes from home and received a swarm of texts and missed calls.

Willie: I went to Portland for the night. Just getting back in town now.

I texted the group chat my brothers and I created to stay in the loop with one another and Wyatt called me not a second later.

"Why did you go to Portland?" Wyatt asked not even bothering to greet me or say good morning.

Typical Wyatt, always straight to the point.

"Needed a break," I admitted staying as vague as possible.

Wyatt is the biggest grudge holder out of the family and if I gave him even a hint or idea that I left because of Evie, he will never forgive her.

"What happened?" Wyatt asked cutting the bullshit.

"Nothing, I just needed a break." I said trying to maintain my confidence.

"Well, Evie is meeting at the house this morning. I guess she made a decision or something. Dad wants everyone here." Wyatt said in an annoyed tone.

"Okay, I'll head there now." I said.

I don't like that she had made a decision. Obviously, she needs to make a decision but I have a bad feeling about this.

I am losing her, I know it.

"Are you okay?" Wyatt asked after a few silent moments.

"I'm fine," I said trying to sound confident again while my mind was a swarm of different emotions trying to maintain calmness. For some reason, I didn't have a good feeling about any of this.

"I thought we had agreed no lies and no secrets." He nearly growled into the phone, clearly pissed at me, clearly catching on.

Fuck, I wouldn't be able to take it if Wyatt confronted Evie.

"Wyatt, please just drop it." I said firmly in a tone that I had never used on my brothers before.

"Fuck, Willie, why is this girl screwing with your head so much." Wyatt sighed.

I didn't like his tone, not even a little bit. This is my cross to bear not his and I didn't want him getting involved.

"Wyatt, don't. Evie has done nothing wrong here." I nearly growled.

"Agree to disagree," Wyatt said before ending the call.

Fucking asshole. I shook my head before heading towards the estate. By the time I pulled into the driveway, Evie was already here along with everyone else.

"Sorry I'm late," I said walking into the house.

I was greeted with silence and headed towards the kitchen to see everyone standing around starring at Evie with shocked expressions.

Yeah, this isn't good news.

"What's going on?" I asked as alarm bells began to ring inside my head.

"Evie was just telling us that she has decided to go back to school." Mom said and it felt like the ground had opened up beneath me to swallow me whole.