Love & War (Soukoku and Fyoya)

In Which Dazai Asks Questions

Chuuya found himself lost in the words and days that he and Dazai shared over the following three months. In between assignments and their jobs, they became a couple. Dazai would often tease Chuuya that their relationship had gone too domestic for their taste. Even Fyodor could tell that Chuuya was falling for his own lies.

However, Dazai could not get rid of the feeling that something drastic had happened. So, he approached Ranpo and Atsushi about his worries.

"Mr. Nakahara seems like he really loves you, Dazai," Atsushi assured him. "I am sure that nothing going on."

"How about you, Ranpo?" Dazai asked.

Ranpo was usually very forthcoming with his findings, ideas, and thoughts on matters. Today, he seemed abnormally reserved.

"I think that Chuuya does love you," Ranpo said slowly. "Maybe too much."

"What do you mean?" Dazai pressed.

"Well," Ranpo replied, "you tell me."

"Not helpful," Dazai muttered. "If you are gonna say things like that, Ranpo, you should at least elaborate."

"Yeah," Atsushi chimed in. "It is very cryptic, even for you, Ranpo."

Ranpo shrugged. Atsushi was called away by Kunikida before Ranpo leaned toward Dazai.

"Be careful with Chuuya," Ranpo whispered. "He is more clever than you give him credit for. I am almost certain that Chuuya is not telling you something, but I cannot figure out what." Ranpo gave Dazai a quizzical look before adding, "Yet."

Dazai shivered. Chuuya was more loyal than Dazai ever expected, he was sure that would be Chuuya's hamartia. Ranpo had just said that Chuuya loved him- so why was Dazai so skeptical about Chuuya's loyalty?

Chuuya made limited contact with Fyodor. Fyodor attempted making idle chitchat, but Chuuya always ignored it. Somewhere along the way, something had changed. What Chuuya and Dazai had became real. In some regard, Chuuya could comprehend the complexity of how Fyodor felt when they first met.

"Was it this way for you?" Chuuya asked randomly. "The guilt, the pain?"

Their eyes met.

"Yes." Fyodor whispered. "It was. Everyday, I wondered if I should tell you the truth. Everyday, I reminded myself that using you for this plan would eventually help you be released from your sorrow. No matter what I told myself, the guilt did not go away. You were the first person I felt that way about."

The Demon Fyodor, feeling remorse? Chuuya nearly laughed.

Chuuya and Arahabaki were one and the same; somewhere along the way, it had just became that way. Some part of Chuuya knew that getting rid of his Gift would kill him. He never shared his theory with Fyodor, who was under the impression that getting rid of the Gift would get rid of Arahabaki, but not Chuuya. Dazai was the only one who knew that Chuuya and Arahabaki could not be separated.

Chuuya hoped that Fyodor was right. If he was, then Chuuya and Dazai could be happy together and live in a safer world. Kouyou, Tachihara, Akutagawa- his friends and family would be safer. Even if that risked his life, Chuuya would do it. That is just who he was. Which is even more reason why Dazai could never became aware of what was coming.

When Chuuya returned home that night, Dazai was in the bedroom. Chuuya crawled into the covers and wrapped himself around Dazai, who began massaging his back.

"You seem awfully clingy tonight," Dazai teased, pressing his lips against Chuuya's forehead. "Long day? Headache?"

"People aches."

"Gotcha," Dazai replied, smiling. "Anything I can do for you, ease your pain?"

Chuuya had waited his whole life for someone like Dazai, someone who cared and someone who would hold him like this. Fyodor had made Chuuya feel safe, but it not compare with the feeling of home and security that Dazai offered. Whenever Chuuya thought about home, he thought about Dazai.

"Try being silent," Chuuya mumbled. "You are so pretty- do not ruin it for me."

"You think that I am pretty?" Dazai asked.

"Shut up."

Dazai chuckled and Chuuya beamed.

"I love you, Chuuya." Dazai whispered.

Dazai broke the barrier. It had been three months since they started dating, and Dazai had never felt more sure about anything. If there was a correct time for knocking that wall down, now was it.

"And I love you, Dazai," Chuuya replied.

Chuuya had specifically avoided using Dazai's first name. For the last few months, Chuuya had lived with the idea that he very well may die when Fyodor finds the Book. Chuuya could die, and leave Dazai behind. Any inkling of pain that Chuuya could spare Dazai, he would.

Dazai noticed that Chuuya seemed steadfast against calling him Osamu. Despite the many times Dazai had asked him about it, Chuuya repeatedly waved him off. Before, Chuuya had called him Osamu twice without his blessing. Now that Chuuya had Dazai's blessing, he was refusing it? It confounded Dazai that Chuuya would be so fickle. It also raised some alarms in his head.

Only those in their inner circle knew about their relationship- the Agency members and Chuuya's closest confidants and friends from the Mafia; for example, Mori, Kouyou, Akutagawa, and Tachihara. None of them cared. Mori was mildly irritated, but allowed it once Kouyou gave him "the look." Chuuya had never been more grateful for Kouyou.

Kunikida was apprehensive about their relationship, but everyone else fully supported.

"One of the Agency being romantically involved with an executive of a hostile organization like the Port Mafia just is not ideal," Kunikida had argued.

Eventually, after meeting Chuuya, even Kunikida liked him. Some of them even asked Chuuya if he was sure that he was an executive. Chuuya simply chuckled and changed the subject.

Everything seemed perfect. Chuuya thought that he and Dazai might be married long before Fyodor tells him that their job is done. The thought was reassuring. Chuuya continued his assignments and so did Dazai. Dazai covertly chased Fyodor, but he rarely had any leads.

Dazai and Chuuya rarely allowed talk about their jobs at home. Otherwise, Dazai would have asked Chuuya about Fyodor. If he had, Chuuya would have answered him honestly. But because they did not allow "job talk" at home, that never happened. Their apartment became an island where the Port Mafia and the Armed Detective Agency no longer existed, and they became just Chuuya and Dazai.

"Is this real?" Dazai asked softly, caressing Chuuya's face. "Am I really with you?"

"Yeah," Chuuya replied, grinning. "You could not create a face this beautiful in that twisted mind of yours, Dazai. Trust me- I am as real as they come."

Dazai chuckled and kissed Chuuya gently.

Meanwhile, Fyodor moved the last piece into checkmate. Finally, Fyodor had the Book. The world was his oyster, this Book the pearl.

(1085 Words)