𝓕𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓮𝓭・ 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐤𝐚𝐧𝐚

~ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 ~

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙⋆⁺₊⋆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ⋆⁺₊⋆•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

Kanae Kocho sat on the toilet gripping the pregnancy test, in an odd fashion so the screen was in her palm and she wouldn't have to see it. She peaked up, terrified to see the results. If it was positive, her life would fall apart. Her boyfriend, Sanemi, would have to be a father and throw his life away early for this child.

If he stayed, that is, Kanae shuddered at the mere thought. 

Her studies would go down the drain, and she would have to decide between the child and her education. Her so-called grandparents would go ballistic on her. Shinobu would realize that the woman she looked up to was irresponsible.

Everything would fall apart, her haven of life, so calm and happy like it was before, would shatter like delicate glass. The blissful utopia or nostalgia would crumble and fly away in the life's harsh winds. Fear could only infect her deeper, and soon, the bad scenarios played in her head. Kanae imagined her child ending up a boy. 

"Is that your brother?"

She would look at the stranger, the feeling of shame swallowing her stomach to an empty pulp. Maybe she would happily agree with them, building up wall cemented with lies. God, wouldn't it be embarrassing if they said "Mama" as she spouted a lie.

20 wasn't so bad, she rationalized, thinking of lots of other parents who were a few years older than half her age. But she knew it was bad. It didn't justify her youth, and she knew her life was practically over, done by her own two hands.

Kanae shook at the thought, forced ease slowly sapping into her. Her chest still felt the weight of regret and shame piling up, but she kept breathing. Louder and harder, trying to erase the thought. 

She tilts her head down, the test and herself seeming so far away, even though they were right there with her, sullen and silent. She hasn't seen the results, she didn't know for sure! But everything told her otherwise. She loosened her clasp on the test, still shaking. The butterflies were raging. They tore and bit at her stomach, making her grip the test because they were everywhere! 

It hurt, this kind of shame, it really did. She Or, maybe that's a child, a voice deep in her heart whispered. 

Kanae shook it off, doubting the intrusive thoughts from it's core. Her cycle would start soon enough, and she would be back to normal, then careful based on this near experience. Then, she would be so grateful. She shook her head, feeling happier, but the sick feeling in her stomach lingered. She completely unclasped the test with her left, and used her right to pull it up. Shaking, she closed her eyes and took her finger off. She imagined the sigh of relief when she opened her eyes, one line. But that wasn't real.

She lifted her eye-lids softly, taking in the background of the bathroom, keeping her vision looking anywhere but there. God, why was this happening? Knowing she needed to learn the results, she let her mind steel-up, determination backing her up. Focusing her eyes on the test, her eyes quickly widened. Kanae looked at the test, and her face dropped from a frown to pure dread.

 The simple red lines, striking through the screen. Not one, but twice. She dropped the test to the floor, but nothing else happened. Her breath was dead quiet, the tears barely making a sound on their way to the floor. This was it. Her life was over. She was pregnant, caring a child she knew she wouldn't have the heart to get rid of.

She realized Sanemi would be home soon, oblivious to his new and sudden role in life. But, he would find out, and leave her for good. She couldn't take that. Her childhood best friend, them  being true loves since the moment she could remember. This couldn't happen, not now!