lovely | thirteen reasons why

(1) confronting the problem

Something you'll come to know about me is that I have a very good memory. Always have. I suppose when your life is threatened at the age of three you earn some survival tactics.

That's not an exaggeration either, when my dad learned of my existence he sent his men to lure my mom out of hiding. To which she was taken from me forever.

Point is, I remember everything. And I remember Kat's party better than anyone. Even Hannah.

That night was the exact night after I had called off hookups with Montgomery de la Cruz. One of the worst fucking mistakes I've ever had. And I've slept with Bryce Walker!

Monty can be described as the most violent, aggressive thug at Liberty High. Beyond that is also a massive asshole to everyone. But I guess now that I know what Bryce is capable of and the fact that despite being a piece of shit Monty didn't even make it on the tapes, I suppose he isn't the worst of us anymore.

But anyways, I finally had enough of Monty's territorial bullshit in our 'No strings attached' fucking that I decided to call it quits. Which meant all my friends were in the phase of calling me a whore. All except Kat and Clay.

I wouldn't really describe Clay as a friend. You know the kid you grow up with and have known since you were a toddler and went to all the same schools with, but once you're older and grow into your own social groups you never really talk to? But you can always count on them to be around when your real friends are being dicks? That's Clay Jensen. The only additions being instead of just being around him we were treated like siblings as his parents took care of me. But still, we hardly ever spend time together anymore as I have stopped relying on the Jensen's to get by.

Kat on the other hand, we've been close friends for years, especially once she started dating Justin. She was originally Clay's bestie throughout middle school, but we started hanging out our freshman year. Justin has been my best friend since middle school and we even lost our virginities to each other. He can be a dick too, but I trust him a hell of a lot more than the other jocks. Especially Bryce who I've known and been friends with just as long.

Lastly was Hannah Baker. The new girl I knew nothing about, but Kat said she was cool and Clay so obviously had a crush on her already so I played nice and let her join in on the fun.

So there we were. The four of us chilling as we said goodbye to a truly wonderful soul. She was getting out of this shithole town and I couldn't help but admire her for that.

As I watched my friends giving me dirty looks and whispering very openly, my mood turns sour. "What the fuck is wrong with guys?"

Kat immediately answers. "Guys are assholes."

Hannah laughs and nods. "Amen to that."

I shake my head. "It's not like I wasn't completely upfront with him about how this would go."

Clay hesitantly spoke up. "I'm not trying to blame the victim or anything, but honestly, Libby, what did you expect to get from fucking Monty?"

I sigh. "Okay, fair point. But I thought a piece of shit would be less invested, and there's no chance of me catching feelings."

Clay shakes his head. "I just think you deserve better."

I feign a swoon. "Are you coming onto me, Jensen?"

This makes him cringe. "Don't even joke about that. You should have a nice guy is all."

This confuses Hannah. "Why is that bad? I think you two would be cute together."