Lighter to my heart || hyunlix

Chapter 13

AFTER 3 YEARS

Felix's Pov

I took a seat on the chair and watched the colorful fish in the aquarium swimming . My eyes were heavy and my head was hurting.

-"Why didn't you visit recently?"

I didn't respond.

-"I almost couldn't pay my rent because you stopped coming. You know every minute counts for the consultation fee, right?"

-" I was in a state..."  I take a deep breath. " Where I didn't even have the energy to come and get my prescription."

For some time , she doesn't say anything and I just look at the ground, fidgeting with the ring on my finger.

-" Did you think about extreme decisions?"

Would I lie if I say no?

She looked straight at me and noticed I would not answer the question.

-"It's a relief that you are here today."

I nod.

-"Do you know what is the hardest part of my job? Its when my patients commit suicide.Then I dont know what to do.Whether should I attend the funeral or not , In a way, I was the one who knew about the patient the most."

-"Do you go to those funerals? "

-"The rule is to not attend for the protection off the doctor.But I just go."

-"Why?"

-"We waste so much time starting at our phones everyday. As a human being,It's not that hard to make time to say goodbye for the last time.
Anyway. Tell me more."

-"Do you remember the new friend I told you about a long time ago ? "

-"Yes."

-"Yes, the friend who became your refuge. You haven't brought him up since then. "

I pause to gather my thoughts.

-"Come on , Felix. You know you can trust me. We've been doing this for years now. I won't ever judge you."

-"My anxiety took over my body and I panicked.
I was in the worst state of my life.
I wanted to be physically erased and start over again. I didn't want to be there at that time but he appeared in and slowly became my refuge but something really bad happened. He was threatened and I left for his safety."

-"What do you mean by threatened, Felix?"

-"I was in the way of someone's love for him so I just left. I moved from the dorms and went to study abroad. I came back for the last year when I already knew he was gone. "

-"Do you think it was the best decision?"

-"No, but I was afraid. In fact , it was a long time ago. And yet I cannot let it go."

———————————————————————————

-"I can't believe we finally finished college! Can you believe it Felix?" Jisung asked me out of excitement.

-"We did it! Now, the only hard part that remains it's to find a job that pays well."

-"Yeah let's worry about that later. Summer break just started , you know what that means!" Jisung looked at me raising an eyebrow, making a funny face.

-"Stop that!" I chuckled. " What do you feel like drinking?"

-"Hmm, maybe some shots to celebrate?"