letter twenty four

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dear lee heeseung,

i'm scared, i'm so, so scared. why did this have to happen to me? god, i wish i had listened to my mom. she told me that my plan is a little too cruel for everyone who cares about me.

she told me it would be better if became honest with all of you. i'm starting to think she's right after i woke up and heard from her call how my baby is crying and it hurts me to listen on his calls for me.

he's searching for his mommy. and i can't be there even though i wanted to.

maybe if i told everyone, baby jay wouldn't have to go through that and me alone in this fight.

maybe you would come to the hospital with me. or the enhypen boys would come talk to me in order to cheer me up. and we could all count down the days remaining in my life.

damn it.

i regret this. but at the same time, why do i felt happy to hear that truth?

love,
park y/n

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