James just didn't know what to do. He never looked away at the two-story house standing in front of him. He didn't leave the sidewalk. He just tried to make a decision in his head. But it proved to be difficult. The eighteen-year-old man knew that he had to do something. It would be a relief to just be honest. But then again, he had to imagine the people he had grown to admire experiencing direct alienation. His true feelings would have made anyone question his personal preferences. And that was why he didn't know how to end this inner conflict.
The summer heat started to make him uncomfortable. After a blistering heat wave over the weekend, the temperatures did cool down slightly. The residents of Rialto, as well as everyone else living in Southern California, finally had the opportunity to be a little more productive outside. Still, the late afternoon included the setting sun forcing James to feel thirsty. The warm breeze that came down from the San Gabriel Mountains only made it worse. James only wore a white tank top and a pair of brown cargo shorts. Despite his minimal apparel, the heat didn't change. The young Native-American man had to do something. He couldn't just stand there on the sidewalk like a lunatic waiting to be fried by nature. He finally managed to walk forward. He had to take a deep breath in order to calm himself. As soon as he reached the front porch, he rang the doorbell and waited for a response.
James kept his long black hair behind his back. For quite some time, he let it grow all the way down to the bottom of his chest. Irene, his girlfriend, said it made him look like a character on the front cover of a romantic novel. At first, James laughed at the notion. And now, he wished it was possible. So long that her father would be able to see it.
The front door opened. James held his breath. Rodney stood just a few feet in front of him.
"Hi, James. What's going on?"
James couldn't help but take a good look at his girlfriend's father. At the age of forty-one, Rodney was a tall and handsome white man. He had short brown hair and brawny arms. He was several inches taller than James, making it more of an attractive characteristic to the latter. Today, Rodney wore a black t-shirt and a pair of black denim jeans. James could feel the cool air from inside the house making a steady exit out the door. James longed for some first-class air conditioning. He also longed for something else in the house.
James almost had trouble speaking. "I, uh...I just wanted to see if Irene is here."
Rodney replied, "No, she went out with her little sister. They're probably at the mall right now."
That almost made James feel a little more relieved. "So you're all alone in the house?"
"Well, my wife is hanging out with her colleagues from work. I have the house to myself."
James tried to smile, but he could only fake it before giving up. "Can I come in?"
Rodney didn't seem to suspect a thing. "Sure."
He let the young man in the house.
The air conditioner did manage to cool James down in terms of both inside and out. "I'm thirsty. You don't mind if I get a drink of water, do you?"
Rodney smiled. "No, not at all. There are some water bottles in the fridge."
"Thanks."
James didn't say another word. He headed for the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. Just as he pulled out a cold water bottle and opened the lid, he took his time keeping his composure at a high altitude. He dreaded the result of his honesty, but he desired at least some sort of closure for what he had been really feeling all this time. He took a long sip of water. The cold liquid made a sensational descent down his throat. It calmed his nerves. He closed his eyes for a brief moment. He and Irene had been together for approximately two months now. He loved her, but there was a catch. And this was when he couldn't suppress his true feelings any longer. He didn't feel comfortable saying it to his eighteen-year-old girlfriend. He had to go straight to the source of his corrupted psyche.
