kinn open his room door and look at the bed.which still have porche's blood stain.. kinn's hands are start to shivering .his legs are become like jelly..he fall on the floor without having some balance in his body..
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”i did wrong i know..but..but ..i want this right?..i want them to leave me alone..''kinn hug his knees near his chest while keep looking at the bed...
''why?..WHY IS MY HEART PAINING?''kinn screeming while clutching his chest in pain..his tears are falling down...
''why?..sniff... I can't be happy?...why god?,,why did you make me like this?...'' kinn lean against the door.tears are keep falling down..
''that baby..his smile..his little body...i felt like i want to carry him in my whole life..sniff.. he is crying.. Right?..i shouldn't let him go...but..but..i don't have rights..i didn't even there when he born,,.'' kinn turn and look at the cradile which empty without his baby...
''will he be okay?.. doctor said he is in coma,,when is he going to wake up?..” kinn mumbling under his breathe slowly he close his eyes..but suddenly his mind cross by his uncle..
''you can't love him..son..you can't.. please trust me . they are bad..they will fooled you...''
''baby.. wake up.,baby...'' kinn's mother who find her son shivering on the floor.. immediately sit beside him and put his head on her lap ..,
''baby..wake up..ma is here.. nothing going to happen..breathe in..breathe out..'' kinn follow his mother instructions and some minutes in he get calm..
he put his face near his mother's stomache and hug her tightly..
''uncle said everyone is bad..he ask me to don't trust anyone..'' Rose cares kinn's head...her tears are start to fall..
''im the one who reason for your vulnerable..if i speak with you and make you understand what is love ..you might be don't hold this traruma still now and have your little family in this house... but i didn't...i thought when you grow up you will understand what's real''Rose can't control her tears...
''ma..why are you blaming yourself....and do you think uncle is wrong..i saw my own eyes.how aunty break his heart..'' kinn up from his mother's lap and look at her with his redden face...
''son [rose cares kinn's hair] everyone aren't same..what about your mom and dad..did you ever watch or hear ,one of us cheating..[kinn's shake his head as no],we had fights.that's also out of love.. son! [rose put her palm on kinn's cheek] porche loves you.he start to love you when he is just fourteen.[kinn look at his mother curiously],do you remember you saved a child from some thugs.. before your uncle died?''
''ye..yes..''
''that's child is your wife.porche..[kinn's eyes are widen..]he love you too much,do you think he will cheat you or leave you?'' tears are start to gathering in kinn's eyes.,,
''no..he won't ''...rose wipe her son tears..
''what about you?, will you touch or kiss someone other than porche?'' kinn's face reaction immediately turn into disgust
''eww..i won't..'' a small smile lift in rose's lips...
''don't trust your uncle words.he said that because he is brocken at the time..if you go to him before a year and ask him about his opinion about love..he will definitely say love is infinity....
do you think your uncle stop loving your aunt after knowing she is cheating him? [kinn don't know what to say.so he keep silent] definitely not..he keep love her.because his love for her is morethan his hurt... son come here [rose open her hands..kinn immediately go between her hand and hug her]
can you think of a life without porche?.. without your little baby..if you can live, you don't love them.but if you can't live..you love them too much..just close your eyes and think about that.you will find your answer''
kinn don't need to close his eyes to find out the answer.because he already know he love porche the day he first saw him in the cafe...
''ma..i need to go''...kinn said and about to stand..Rose hold his hand..
''where are you going?''
''porche..im going to see porche and my baby..i want to ask their forgiveness..and bring them back...''
Rose look at kinn sadly..
''you can't..you can't do that NOW.because they are gone.''
kinn look at his mother confusedly. ''what?...''
''they took your wife and son away from us,away from you ,away from this country ''
''ma.,please,,,say this lie..i want them..'' kinn start to cry like a baby..rose pull his son into her embrace..
''just give them time....you know already whatever you did is wrong ''
''ma..i myself don't know when i touch him..please..ask father to speak with his parents..please ma.only one last time ..please ma..please...'' kinn crying so hard..
''son..he can't.i can't.no one can't..you know already his father is president...he break all the tie up with us.. see..look at me[ rose take kinn's face in his]
wait for porche and your baby's return..when you see porche again,start to gain your forgiveness and also court him officially,,,..im sure he will forgive you..''rose wipe kinn's tears...
''but..but when will they come back?..'' kinn ask while sitting on the floor properly...
''maybe after one month or year..who knows....but you need to wait for him if you truely love him'' rose pat his son's head..
''i will..i will wait for him and our baby....you..do you know ,what his name?''kinn ask while looking down..
''whose name?''
''my baby's''
''Phoenix Pachara Anakkinn..that is your baby's name ''
kinn lay his head on his mother's lap and held her hand in his..a smile form on his lips...*phoenix* kinn slowly close his eyes ...
he will change himself into a better person before he held his wife and baby in his hand again..
