Thirty-Nine

1.5K 56 1
                                    

Trapped in your own thoughts, you stood in the shower and let yourself fall into the feeling of water that rained down on you.

It was so hot that your skin contracted and began to burn under every slight contact. Steam filled the air. It was almost impossible to breathe without feeling the moisture in your lungs.

Your gaze empty, your face blank, you finally gave in to the void that grew in the pit of your stomach and sat down on the showers floor to feel the water run down your nose, taking away your ability to take a deep breath without sucking water into your lungs.

Steam filled the entire bathroom and made your vision go blurry. It felt like a hot tub. Yet, somehow, you wanted it to be hotter. So hot that it would burn your skin away and with it all the past memories and things you had done.

As if in trance, you let your hands run over your shoulders. They were both covered in ink. Alejandro knew about them, but never suggested you were a narco. Luckily, your younger self wasn't as stupid as most cartel members. The tattoos were relatively normal, nothing that could be connected to drugs or crime.

Despite the fact that you did not dislike the pictures on your skin, you wished to scrap them off with your nails. After all, most of them had been done by the Don himself.

It had been him who had given you the name Sin Rosto. That day he had made sure to engrave it into your body as well. Across your entire back stretched the outline of a person, neither very masculine nor feminine, dressed in a black robe, hands folded in prayer.

No face existed. It was but a void. Just like you, that was what he had always said with a smile of pride on his face. As if he had talked about a well bred dog instead of an actual person.

The sheer memory was enough to make you want to tear your skin and flesh off your bones.

A thick veil of white fog filled the room as a knock suddenly cut through the gushing sound of falling water.

You ignored it. Nothing could have made you come out of that shower. All you wanted was to burn, quite literally. The pain made it less possible to let your thoughts wander off.

Again, it knocked.

And once again you ignored it.

With a deep sigh, you squeezed your eyes shut and buried your head between your knees. Water ran down the sides of your face, got into your ears and nose and made it hard to breath and hear.

The temperature of the water shifted, got burning hot for a second before it changed back to the original temperature. Now it felt like it was cold.

You were about to reach up to crank the heat up once more as someone grabbed you by the wrist all of a sudden.

Struck by surprise, your head shot up and wrapped around the wrist of the person who had grabbed you out of nowhere.

Startled, Alejandro's gaze met yours.

One foot in the shower, his left arm under the water to keep your hand still, he stood in front of you while the burning hot water rained down on him.

He only wore a plain t-shirt. His skin was already starting to turn reddish even though it had only been a few moments.

Your eyes widened.

"What are you doing?!", you asked and got up a bit too quickly to push him out of the danger zone.

However, you acted rash instead of smart. You skipped, lost balance and almost fell, threatening to crack your skull open.

Without hesitation his arms wrapped around your waist to pull you close. Immediately, you found yourself pressed tight against his chest, water dripping down your face and onto his clothes.

"You've been in here for forever.", he said in his calm, raspy voice, his eyes locked with yours. "You'll burn yourself to death."

His eyes were so serious as he pulled you even closer into a hug to bury his face in the crotch of your neck.

A shivering breath escaped your lips as you dug your nails into his shirt to hold onto him.

"I'm sorry...", you just whispered.

"Lo sé."

"Alejandro..."

"Don't.", a deep sigh escaped him as he stood up straight to grab your face with both hands so that you were forced to look at him. "It's been enough."

"You shouldn't excuse what I did. That I lied to you."

"And I don't.", gently, he took a step back and pulled you with him to finally get you out of the shower. "But I also love you. Si, my trust is damaged, you are someone else than I expected."

You had to take a deep breath before you were able to let go of him. But he did not let go of you. Instead, his grip just loosened, got more gentle, yet he refused to let go of you entirely.

"I've apologised so much already...", you rubbed your eyes with two fingers, tired. "I don't know how to make it up to you. If that's even a possibility. Whatever you'll decide after this, I'll take it. It's the consequences of my own choices."

For a long, very long moment, Alejandro just stared at you. It was almost painful to feel his eyes wander over your face as if you were a stranger that he saw for the very first time.

"You'll take anything?", he asked, his voice low, no emotions audible.

Your heart was beating up to your throat.

"This is not my place to make demands.", you agreed with a pain that stabbed into your chest with every breath.

"Bien.", his grip on you tightened once more.

All of a sudden you found yourself pressed tight against him again. Out of reflex, your hands lay on his chest. You could feel how his heartbeat pressed into your palms.

Without a single word more he placed a deep kiss onto your lips.

Alejandro Vargas x ReaderWhere stories live. Discover now