The Unrequited Love

XVII

Hanahaki:
A fictional illness in which a person bearing an unrequited love coughs up flower petals until they die or their feelings are reciprocated.

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"Right, friend."

I was immensely relieved and it must've shown, for Jimin's softened expression became as gaunt as before and he added,"But."

"But what?" I said.

"Something selfish is all you think of me, don't you?" He withdrew his hand.

"Jimin-ssi, it was an accident–"

"Don't act like the fight never took place last night."

"Why are you being so hostile?"

"Shouldn't I have asked you the same thing yesterday?" he said.

"You started it first!" I burst out, my vow long ago disappearing.

"Woah, the pot's calling the kettle black!"

"It's the truth!" I said."Even now, you're the one who initiated."

"And was it necessary to continue?" he said.

I, who had opened my mouth for another throw paused.

He continued."Why do you perish in a fire that you realise is not worth the powder? Why do you choose to indulge when you know it's pointless?" He took a long silence before resuming."If you're well aware of it, why can't you be the one to put an end to the fight?"

I looked down at my hands and stayed mum, for I knew he was right. I had truly realised that.

"You know why?" Jimin said, making me look at him."It's because you're too much of an egoist to allow that. Now don't point out and say I'm the same. You know yourself better and have witnessed enough."

He cast me a final disappointed look."I know you said sorry just for the sake of it."

With that, he walked towards the door. Before opening it, he stopped."Come now. Or we'll be late."

That one last act of cooperation and he walked out of the room, probably to his bike. And for some reason I felt like he wasn't going to wait for me, especially after his warning bell, so I hurried down after him.

A silent ride was what followed next, for the coming half an hour. Soon 'ZZZ' was in view and it was time to depart for the day.

"Bye Jimin-ssi," I said. I climbed off the bike and turned to him, who was looking ahead just like he had yesterday too, before resuming fighting.

I walked a few steps away from him, but halted when I couldn't go on more. For I realized. He resumed, because I started. It was me who misunderstood, it was me who fought when unnecessary and it was me who despite all that held my point of being the right one. Putting myself first without caring about the person who was trying so hard to be on my side all along.

I had hurt him. I had hurt my roommate. My friend.

I turned to him, who glanced casually at me, expecting another cocky remark. Like I always had. But instead, got an abrupt hug.
"Thank you Jimin-ssi. For everything. And also, I'm sorry. Truly. For today as well as yesterday."

I pulled away. But when our eyes met, was when I realized what I had done. Jimin was equally stunned. I came out of the one-sided hug and turned away, when he instantly put his palm on my arm and drew me close. Into his arms, into his embrace. My heartbeat went into a frenzy and since our chests were so close to each other, maybe he felt it, for he gave me some gentle pats on my back. The feeling was oddly exhilarating. His hand over my back, soothing it whereas his arms bound me into a spell. It was a strangely warm feeling. A first real hug of ours. Was it supposed to feel that special?