The Unrequited Love

XXXI

Hanahaki:
A fictional illness in which a person bearing an unrequited love coughs up flower petals until they die or their feelings are reciprocated.

×××××

“Exactly,” Jimin said. “He does have love in his heart for you.”

Jimin, who had changed my mind completely, stood looking at me, while me with my drying tears looked like a fool. I had assumed everything and was fighting a conflict with myself. Rachel never even fed anything into my brain. I was the one, my own culprit. It was going all in my head and I now felt utterly stupid. 

But if I kept the stupidity aside, I could see that I could have Jungkook back. And the elation was growing gradually.

“Y/n, you okay?” Jimin asked, breaking my trail.

“Y-Yeah, I just need time to process this.”

“Can I ask you something?” 

“I know what you want to know,” I said, burying my face into my palms.

“Then tell me. Why in the world were you thinking that he didn’t love you?”

Embarrassed and cringing, I gave him the entire narration and he patiently listened. When I was done, he said only five words, “You are one crazy woman.” 

And with that, we were off to bed.

~~~

When I woke up the next morning, I didn't find Jimin on his bed. So I checked into the living room, and saw him perched on the chair, having the bread and butter he had made for himself. 

He was so lost in thought that he didn’t see me come in. Only when I accidentally knocked off a plate from the counter did he realise.

“Oh, you’re up,” he said.

“Yeah, you seemed lost. Something seems to bother you.”

“I was wondering, yesterday, you didn’t say anything about getting him back,” Jimin said and turned his chair around. He sat backwards on the chair, resting his arms on the top rail. “Or is it that you have… moved on?”

“I haven’t,” I sighed. “But for my own selfish future, my own greed, I can’t put your present at stake.”

Jimin fell silent. 

He now understood that I hadn’t brought it up because I didn’t want him going back to the same fate that I had tried so hard pulling him out of. Jimin thought. His nightmares were almost gone; just in a span of two months, his life was improving and though the guilt hung around somewhere in the corner of his heart, he wasn’t so pressed and conditioned to help his roommate as he once was. Especially not for the sake of Dong Chul. He felt and understood that his roommate was a separate entity and he could steer himself away from helping her; not because he realised that she was not equivalent to Dong Chul, but simply because he had the free will to do so.

But something didn’t fit right in his heart. 

When he reflected on the journey they had covered so far, right from the kiddish fights to the caring nights, from the awkwardness to the strange comfort, from the talks at the end of the day to the appreciation of his progress, he realised something again.

His roommate could have not cared, she could’ve left him to his state and let herself take things to her advantage. But she instead quit her job for him. Though now he realised that it was because of her own delusion of things, she didn’t need to do it– care for him. And that gesture of hers made Jimin see more of her. Annoyingly, Jimin knew that this woman was many things– haughty, proud, rude, independent. And rare; but loving, was also one of them.