The wrong lover

Chapter 6

- Peeta's PoV -

I keep thinking about Katniss, I know I have work to do but I lack the motivation to do it. Waking up in the morning is what takes the most strength to do. I wish I could just lie in my bed forever until I die. I don't even know if Katniss is alive after that. Maybe they picked up on her signal and she was executed. No that's not what Snow would do, he has bigger plans. I keep switching between wanting her dead or alive. I want her alive for myself but if I was in her position I would want to die. The pain is probably unbearable and I here I am having a hard time getting out of bed. 

I decide to go up after Prim keeps asking me. Sleeping here with her and seeing the joy on her face keeps me up for now. She is all that I have left of Katniss now, and maybe forever. Lillian is also a nice person to talk to but I think she has the same depression as me. I don't know how Prim can keep her smile on, as I'm almost about to get up Prim begins shaking me.

- Come on Peeta. Let's go eat breakfast. Prim says, I look at her smile and I see it's put on. 

- Okay. I say standing up. I go and take my uniform before heading to the bathroom.

I'm not in any mood to eat and all I feel is ill. I could easily throw up now if I focused on it. I just want Katniss with me here. If she comes back I will never let her go, not ever. I wish I could see how she was feeling, or anything about her. If she was here I wouldn't care if I was there, I just want to do the best for her. Only for her.

I walk out of the bathroom and both Prim and Lillian is waiting for me at the door. I take my shoes on and they feel very uncomfortable. I smile at them as I open the door for them and we walk out towards the cafeteria. The smile was one of the most fake smiles I have ever done, it felt weird smiling at someone that wasn't Katniss.

As I walk into the cafeteria I spot Finnick sitting alone in a corner, kind of isolating himself for the rest of the district. I know his love of his life was also stuck in the Capitol, but she has atleast not been the same pain in the ass for Snow as Katniss has been. I really want to sit next to him so we perhaps can talk about this. It would nice to get to know him better. 

I take a tray and they begin putting on all kinds of food on it. Some look good and some looks less appetizing.

- Where do you wanna sit Peeta? Prim asks me.

- Perhaps down there next to Finnick. I say pointing in their direction.

We begin walking towards the table he sits at. He looks suprised when we all take a seat next to him. He tries to smile for us but it doesn't last long.

- It's okay Finnick. We have the same problem. I say to him and he looks up at me.

- The only bonus for you is that you know she is alive. Finnick says, I know he doesn't know the secret text message Katniss did.

- I am almost a hundred procents sure she is alive. I say to him.

- How do you know that? He says with a sad tune in his voice.

- Because of Katniss interview, promise not to tell anyone else this. Okay? I ask him.

- Yes of course, if it gives me a status of Annie I don't need to tell anyone else. He says.

- Okay so Katniss sent a message using a pearl. She rolled it on her leg showing letters, it said: Help, I am being threatened being the pain for another person, Annie. Which means she is probably alive. I say to him.

- Why would Katniss take the pain from Annie? Finnick asks me.

- She might seem sometimes like someone that doesn't care about others it's not true. She won't ever let anyone get in trouble for something she thinks she did wrong. It's something that I love about her. I say to him.

- Don't you love everything about her? He asks me knowing the answer.

- Yes. I say quietly.

- We know how hard it is for you Finnick, but we three struggle with it too. We might now that she was alive from the arena, but. She did the Capitol wrong so many times that she will probably just be Snow's playtoy. As hard as it is to admit that I don't think I'm wrong. Lillian says to Finnick.

- Something Katniss also has is sturborness, she will shout at Snow whenever she can. She will swear at him. He will talk shit about him right to his face. She might even attack him if she gets the chance. She won't have it easy. Prim says worriedly to follow on what Lillian said.

- I know. I say bursting into tears as I try to eat my breakfast.

- It's okay Peeta, we miss her too. Prim says hugging me.

- Then how do you keep a smile on? I ask between my sobs.

- Well someone has to stay positive. Prim says and it only makes me love her more. She is so alike her sister, trying to stay strong even in the darkest times.

Lillian can't hold in her tears too and Finnick can't either. Now it's just a bunch of people crying in a corner of a cafeteria. 

I finish eating and the others too. Finnick left a while ago to do some stuff that I mostly didn't listen to. I was probably busy thinking about Katniss. Me and Katniss family walk with our trays and leave them to the kitchen. Now it's just time for the schedule, I don't want to do a propo perhaps even making Katniss situation worse. I gotta keep thinking that it's for Katniss, she probably wants to end the Capitol, this is for Katniss.

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Suzanne Collins owns the novels and characters, I do not.