The wrong lover

Chapter 11

- Katniss PoV -

Here I was once again, saying lies to an audience that adores me. I want this to end. This pain over these weeks have gotten worse.

- So Katniss. What do you think about Peeta's propos? Caesar asks me.

- I don't think he wants to be their Mockingjay. I think he is being forced and threatened to take that position. He knows what is at stake and what it costs him. I know he never wanted a rebellion he just wanted the best for me. He might be doing it because he thinks I want him to do it but I don't. I say before stopping.

I hate reading these lines. I just want to scream out that I hate him! I hate Peeta!

- Well do you think this interview will make him stop? Caesar asks.

- Yes I hope so. I say, but what I truly hope for is that he dies.

- Well that is all the time I have for today. Thank you for watching and thank you Katniss for answering some of the audiences questions. Caesar says.

I smile at the camera in one of the fakest smiles I have ever put on. Blood is coming out of my mouth now at the end and my teeths are becoming an orange color. I try to stop shivering but I can't, the uncomfortable feeling is inevidable. The camera shuts off and so does the sound. I stop smiling immediatly.

- Miss Everdeen, you need to show more emotions during the interview. Snow says.

- First you want me to read a script which I can do but I'm just not good at. Then you want me to show emotions that have gone numb a few weeks ago. Then you want me to do that whilst lying. How much do you want from me? I say to him.

- I barely want anything from you. This stuff is something you do for me. Nothing you need to do. You can quit it whenever you want, just remember what that costs. Snow says to me.

- How long ago was it since you fed me? I ask him.

- About a week ago. That's not important though. You only need food so you don't die. Why do I have to feed you until you become full? He asks me.

- Just take me to my session, I don't like this conversation. I say to him.

Peacekeepers begin dragging me and I don't even fight them. They have broken me, now they just have to rebuild me. I get put into the same chair and I hope that it won't get doubled this time. Who knows what that rat did when I was out suffering.

- It won't get doubled this time. You got lucky. Snow says to me.

They just begin with the session and I feel numb but yet it hurts so badly. I close my eyes begging for the pain to stop. The first day I got here it was bad but now I wish I hadn't tooken it forsaken. 

A few hours pass before I feel syringes going through my neck. My eyes open automatically because of the pain and I yell out in extreme pain. This syringe is probably what hurts the most. My memories begin flashing past my eyes and my hate for Peeta, Prim and my mother grows stronger. I can't believe how I trusted them, helped them but all they wanted for me was the worst. As they begin passing by I start seeing Gale do the same, I thought he was my friend. Maybe he just wanted the worst for me too but I just didn't care about it. I don't want it to be true but it feels so true, so real. All the memories that play infront of me is painful. I can feel the pain as if it's actually happening to me. I just want them to stop.

- So miss Everdeen, nobody cares about you. Nobody wants the best for you. They were made to destroy you. Nothing that comes out of their mouths are true, all lies. Snow says to me.

- They're mutts! All of them! I yell out.

- They truly are, nobody loves you. Snow says to me.

- One person does, Haymitch. I say to him, he looks back at me madly.

- Do him tomorrow. Snow whispers to a doctor but not quietly enough. 

He walks out and they take me out of my restraints. Peacekeepers begins grabbing me and I don't fight it, I wouldn't win so why try. As we get to the cell they throw me in as usual. My entire body and the list is getting so long that it's almost no space left. Annie is asleep and I think my small sounds of pain wakes her up.

- Hey Katniss. She says and all I can think about are the memories I got shown.

I don't answer as my head fills with voices telling me how bad they were and are to me. I only have good memories of one person, Haymitch.

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Suzanne Collins owns the novels and characters, I do not.