Blended Love

Chapter 10: Priscilla Rain

We didn't talk anymore about Michael and the baby. My family only had a few more days with us, Christmas was literally a day away and we had a few traditions to run through.

I could tell at times that Steve wasn't present, lost in deep thought, probably about our argument last night. Every time he'd catch my eyes, his face would automatically spring into a smile, but I could tell it wasn't reaching his eyes.

Ugh. I have to fix this.

After eating breakfast my mom started making sugar cookies for the kids to decorate. A tradition she had done with us since we were kids.

Ainsley and Travis were very excited to decorate their cookies for Santa.

"I hope you all don't mind, but my parents want to come over tomorrow for Christmas," Steve says.

"Of course not Steve! You can invite whoever you want," my mom said. "It is your house." She laughed.

My mom played her old school Christmas music on the Bluetooth speaker in the kitchen, while she danced around making the cookies with Ainsley's help.

Travis sat in the living room with my father and sister playing Uno. I felt sleep creeping up on me even though I had only been up for a few hours.

Pregnancy was like that. Some days I felt relatively normal and other days I felt like I was growing another human's limbs.

I yawned and Steve looked over at me from his spot on the couch.

"Need a nap?"

"Mhm," I hummed.

He got up from the couch. "Come on, I'll cuddle you."

"Ooh yeah, I'm definitely falling asleep," I grinned.

He followed me upstairs into his bedroom. I got comfy in the bed while Steve closed the curtains in the room, and shut the door. He joined me in the bed and big spoon'd me, while rubbing my by belly.

I lay there enjoying our silence together and the warmth of Steve's body next to mine. But I couldn't stop thinking about last night.

I felt justified in my emotions.

Michael did so much to me and I was so stupid for not seeing the signs sooner. I know this baby is his, but I've been doing it alone with Steve- it feels like he gets to cheat his way to the finish line without actually putting in the work with me.

Wouldn't I just be more stupid to let him in again?

I never would've thought twice about my decision to never tell Michael. It just made sense to me. But now Steve was making it a problem. He had shone a light in something that I did need to address.

But I don't know how.

How do I stay true to myself, while still making place for- ugh- Michael.

I put my hand on Steve's as he rubbed.

"Hey, are we okay?"

"Yeah," he says, "why wouldn't we be?"

I turned my body to look at him. "Because we disagreed and had an argument last night. Our first one."

He smiles. "Yeah we argued and disagreed, but it didn't change anything about how I feel about you. I'm still going to be here."

"So you're okay with my decision?"

"No. Definitely not," he said dropping his smile. "It is up to, but I'd like you to consider my feelings. More importantly you need to heal this wound, for our daughter, for yourself."