Blended Love

Chapter 17: Taking the High Road

The following few weeks went by in a blur. I was due for another checkup. Of course I had to fill Lucy in on all that had happened to me since our last visit.

"What?! So, are you excited?" She asked.

Steve wasn't with me, so I felt I could answer honestly.

"No."

She grimaced.

"It's not that I'm not happy that Priscilla has her dad now in her life, but I felt like I was moving on. I found Steve and he's amazing. I feel like this just muddled everything up."

"Mmh," she sighs, "well, this is definitely something you're going to have to navigate and un-muddle. How does Steve feel?"

"Ugh. He's just so understanding and- and happy that he's in her life now. He thinks it's the best thing for her. I wish I felt the same."

"Hey it's okay if you don't. This is all so new and if Steve is the same man I remember, he's always going to be optimistic- which you'll need when you deliver. We're only about 3 months from this baby's arrival. Are you excited about that?"

I rubbed my growing belly and smiled. "Yeah that is exciting. I can't wait to see her little face."

Lucy smiled. "Have you thought about who you're going to have here in the room with you?"

"Oh of course Steve, my mom and Alanna have to be there."

"We're you thinking about having her biological dad here as well?"

I scowled. "No!" 

Not a chance in hell.

She threw her hands up in defense. "It's your birth, you can have whatever you want."

"Sorry I didn't mean to shout, but no- no way is he welcome here at her birth. Just the thought of it is making my skin crawl with discomfort. There's no way I could do it and have his presence in the room. Blegh!"

Lucy chuckles.

"It's okay. Really, it's whatever you want. The better you feel about birthing the better your birth will go. You're doing great, mama."

I smiled at her. "Thank you."

We finished up our appointment and I left. When I got in the car my phone rang, it was Alanna.

"Hey girl! How was the appointment?"

I groaned.

"Bad? Is everything okay?!"

"Yes everything is fine. Absolutely fine. Just- this Michael stuff has me so messed up. Steve thinks he should come to the birth."

"What?! No way. He's got his own baby with Sara. He can see that birth." She scoffed.

Finally, someone was getting it. Thank God for my best friend!

"Right! But Steve feels like he should be there to see his first child born and that it'll help them bond more if he's there to see her born. I don't want him seeing my vagina...again!"

That makes her laugh. "Oh my gosh. This is fucked."

"Absolutely fucked."

"Why couldn't he just stay gone? I had finally gotten over him."

I feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Again. Like I always did when this subject came up now.

"It's not fair Alanna! Why does he just get to waltz back in my life and I just have to be this- this paragon of forgiveness and taking the higher road? It's just been me and Priscilla this whole time- you've been more of a Dad to her than him."