PLAYBOY I Tom Kaulitz

Internal Peace.

Tom's POV

As time went on, I tried my best to bury the memories of Ivy deep within me. I embarked on a mission to replace her, to find new girls who could distract me from the thoughts that still lingered in my mind. I brought different women home, engaging in casual encounters, but Ivy's image would creep into my thoughts even in the heat of those moments. It was baffling. We were never together, and I had never even considered her in that way before. But Ivy had something about her—a fiery spirit, unwavering confidence, a strong-mindedness that could rival an entire army.

Bill, my younger brother, along with Georg and Gustav, my best friends and bandmates, had noticed a change in me since the award show. It had shocked us all, but there was something off, something different about me. Concerned for my well-being, Bill, being the caring brother he was, decided to confront me about it. He made his way to my room, hoping to get to the bottom of what was going on with me.

As we sat together and talked, I could sense Bill's usual ability to read me faltering. There was a veil between us, a barrier that prevented him from truly understanding what was happening within me. I couldn't blame him—I was struggling to understand it myself. How could I explain the turmoil of emotions that haunted me, the conflicting desires that tugged at my heart?

Bill probed, asking questions, trying to get to the root of my recent behavior. But I found myself evading his attempts to unravel my thoughts and feelings. How could I possibly explain that despite my efforts to move on, Ivy's presence still loomed large in my mind? How could I express the turmoil that churned within me whenever I brought someone new into my bed, their name a placeholder for the one I couldn't forget?

At that moment, as Bill searched for answers, I realized that even the person who knew me best couldn't truly comprehend the complexities of my inner struggle. I was trapped in a web of emotions, grappling with my desires and the lingering remnants of a connection that had never been fully explored.

I sighed, realizing that some things were meant to remain unspoken. I mustered a weak smile for Bill, hoping to convey a sense of reassurance that everything would be fine. But deep down, I knew that I had yet to find a way to truly move on from the enigmatic presence of Ivy in my life.

After Bill had left my room, Georg walked in, a determined look on his face. He wanted to have a serious talk about what happened all those years ago, specifically that night at our party when he slapped his sister, Ivy. Georg had always believed that I fought in those brawls to protect Ivy, for his sake. He had never considered the possibility that there might have been other motives behind my actions.

Georg didn't mince words. He cut right to the chase, demanding to know what the hell was going on between Ivy and me back then. The atmosphere grew tense as I insisted that nothing had happened between us, but Georg wasn't buying it. His disbelief fueled the mounting anger between us, and before I knew it, things had escalated to a heated confrontation.

Just as we were on the brink of throwing punches, Bill and Gustav burst into the room, sensing the urgency of the situation. Gustav's voice filled with frustration shouted that we needed to get our shit together. We couldn't turn on each other the moment Ivy reappeared in our lives. Some things happened that night at the party that we couldn't undo, but dwelling on the past would only hinder us. We were best friends, a bond that should withstand any storm.

Their words cut through the anger, injecting a sense of clarity into the charged atmosphere. The realization washed over us that we couldn't let our past actions define our present and future. The connection we shared as friends was too valuable to throw away over misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts.