Old you - Dua Lipa

11

The rest of the time at the beach my feelings were just numb and I know Dua noticed but she didn't say anything. We got into the car and I just stayed silenced the entire ride. Once we got home I went straight to bed dug my face into the pillow and held back tears once again.

"Are you okay?" Dua says

"Yea" i murmur into the pillow

"Am I going to get a good night kiss?" She ask

I just act as if I'm asleep because no Dua you can't , you've made this happy day to a real shitty one. I resumed into finally letting my tears out onto the pillow. She loves me but treats me so harshly now it's weird and I just don't seem to understand it. Maybe I'm the one who's wrong though.

"Like I always say I know when something is wrong so please turn around and face me" she says

I stay still and grip the pillow with both my hand so I can keep myself from moving or letting out a small cry sound. I don't want to talk but I know it's the only way of fixing this but now whenever I say anything it goes against me.

"Please just talk to me" she says

I move my head around the pillow to dry my tears off just so it can seem like I wasn't crying too much.

"Why are you crying?" She says as she scoots more towards me

I gulp and have the instinct to just fuck it all up and get angry at her now because it's not fair but I'm a coward so I don't.

"I yawned" I say

"That's a bloody lie" she says as she gets up and pulls a cigar out her jeans pocket on the floor

"You're not doing that seriously?" I ask

"Well tell me what's wrong then" she says

"You're threatening me by harming your lungs? Go ahead do it" I say as I go back into the pillow

I just hear her lay back in bed and sigh so I assume she didn't do it because it also doesn't smell disgusting in here. I can't believe she thought that would have made me talked it's sort of manipulative.

"Whatever I did I'm sorry" she says

"It's fine" I say

"So I did do something" she says

Crap

She pokes my hip and I twitch because that's where I'm most ticklish so I can't help let out a small giggle.

"What is it I must do to be able to see that laugh face to face?" She says in the most desperate way

I can't give in I can't give in but why does she have to be attractive in so many way? The way she says a sentence is mesmerizing and dreamy. Her stupid accent that drives me so mad because it just makes everything sound so cool and smooth.

"Fine goodnight" she finally says

I turn to face her and she's looking at me with the saddest frown. Then it turns into a soft smile because she feels my breath on hers. God see even that was adorable. Why can't you just me unattractive for one minute so I don't feel all gushy inside and actually be upset because you've been a total asshole.

"I love you" she says and kisses my nose

I right away forgive her because that was the most adorable thing shes ever done. I need to let her know how's she's been acting though or else this will a repetitive cycle.

"I love you too but we need to talk" I say as I get up and lean on the bed board she does the same

"Go on love" she says while giving me her entire attention

"You haven't been so patient lately and it's really odd of you" I say

"Patient? That's just rubbish" she says

Oh no.

"You just get upset now like now you think whatever I say is rubbish" I say

"Because all you do is talk about that idiot" she says

"Yea maybe that's my fault but I just don't want you to think he's a threat to you because I only love you Dua"

"He is a threat to me and you can't convince me otherwise okay?" She says

"Nevermind goodnight" I say as I turn to face the other way

•flashback•

"He finally broke up with me" she says as she jumps onto my bed

I really should stop getting scared when she just appears out of no where because she has a key now. Dua never wants to break anyones heart so she always waits for them to leave because she always says she never loves them.

"Are you okay?" I say genuinely concerned

"Shut up and come here" she says as she grabs my face

She kisses me and you can hear both of our breath being taken away because it was so quick and rough bur it felt like heaven. Her hot breath and mine made my upper lip become humid and it felt so passionate.

"I'm all yours now" she says

Did she forget about me and John? I thought it was over forever. I can't do it all over again especially because of my relationship with John now. I have to snap her out of it but hearing her say she's mine now was something else but I have to.

"Dua we can't" I say

"Oh yea" she says in a sad tone as she back up

"It's fine though don't worry" I say

"No it was dumb of me to do that I'm sorry" she says

•present•

Maybe she wasn't losing me maybe I was losing her. The old her at least because maybe I never gave her the satisfaction when she wanted me to herself. Maybe that's why she hates John so much but it still just wasn't fair because she can never just be mine. I had the opportunity though but it was totally different at the time. Was this maybe just revenge or something?