Old you - Dua Lipa

14

"I can't be without you" Dua says

I don't know why I'm not happy to hear her say this. I've been waiting so long for her to say this but it doesn't feel authentic. If that video hadn't gotten out would it still be the same old routine? I love her but it all just seems scripted.

"If that video wouldn't have gotten out would you be saying this?" I ask her

"I would I've been saying this forever in my head and yes the video helped but god I'm so tired of us hiding this too" she says

"You have to understand how I feel Dua, I love you far way more than you love me and you can argue with that all you want but you know you're wrong. Nothing you're saying feels real" I say

"Do you not think I love you?" She asks

"You've never shown it" I say

I slowly try to get up, I look to my arm and I have over five stitches. I'm so stupid. I look at my phone and it's full of notifications. John's name is on there more than 20 times, Rita's too for some reason.

"So you want to say it didn't happen?" She asks

"Isn't that what you want me to say anyways? You know to make yourself not look bad since you're ashamed" I say

"I just want to protect us both from being hated and destroyed by others, it's far too late to pick you over fame but for fuck sakes if I could go back I would choose you" she says

"I'll never make you choose between me or your career that's what you don't fuckin understand Dua, you always have that in your head, that you have to choose between but it's dumb because I just want you to choose me as a partner but instead you go around with some random fuckin guy" I say

She puts her face in her hands. I don't know what to even do because I'm angry. She thinks she could play the victim in her own damn game? Makes no sense. I'm tired of feeling sorry for someone who can easily fix this issue.

I look to my knees and see big bandages. I step down on one foot and it hurts like hell but I continue to do the same with the other. Then I hear her just fuckin scream. Not any scream but almost a roar. I freeze up because I don't know if I should be scared or concerned.

She gets up and grabs the nearest glass thing she can find and throws it against the wall. Okay I should be scared. She doesn't move after.

She starts sobbing. Scream sobbing to be exact.

•flashback•

I quickly got in my car because Dua started crying on her live. Her album getting leaked is far by the worst thing that has happened in her career. I was there when she was making this album and she was so happy to finally have something shes proud of be released to the world but in her way only not leaked.

Once I was outside her I texted her to end her live because I was here. And she did just that. She opened the door and hugged me as tight as she could. I could feel our hearts becoming calm when they came in contact.

"I'm so happy you're here"

"You know I'll always be here" I reply

She grabs my face and kisses me passionately. I find it surprising because we're outside her house and she's usually so careful about that. I could taste her tears in my mouth but I didn't care.

"Please come in and calm me down" she says as she releases herself from me

"Of course"

•present•

"Dua please calm down" I say

"You have to let me know if I've ruined please" she says

I don't think she could ever ruin this. She's ruined it too much for it ever to be completely ruined. But was she finally feeling what I was going through this whole time? As much as in a way I should enjoy this I don't think I wish that amount of pain on anyone else.

"Do you see how I feel now?" I say

"God I've made such a mess haven't I?" She asks still sobbing

"That's an unfair question to ask because you know the answer already" I say trying to maintain standing because I'm in serious pain

"Will you let me prove to you that I no longer give a single bloody fuck about what the world has to say" she says

"How will you do that? I'm curious of what is going on with your public life, what does your boyfriend think of this?" I ask

"Haven't spoken to anyone but my manager" she says

"Because you're afraid" I say

"Because I don't need to explain anything to anyone but you my love" she says

"Bullshit" I say

She comes close to me and just goes on her knees. I couldn't help but laugh. I'm scared she knows this is somehow softening me.

"Get up Dua look like I said prove it to me, break up with your little boyfriend and you decide rather you want people to know if we kissed or not" I say

That's the truth. I'm tired of putting in the work any more, of fighting for this love because she knows the solution but is too stubborn to realize it. I sit back down because I think I'm becoming light headed from all the pain.

"You're staying here tonight with me and I'll stay here till you recover" she says

"Whatever Dua" I say

She gently grabs my hand and places her lips on each of my stitches. Maybe she is serious about this.

Oh how I'm a fool for you.