Old you - Dua Lipa

13

"It's everywhere im screwed" Dua cries out

The video of us kissing was trending beyond everything but it wasn't very clear that we were kissing because it was recorded a bit far from us but we knew we were. I didn't feel anything though because I had nothing to lose anyways but Dua was going to be called so many things and it was going to hurt me as well.

"Maybe people will think we're hugging or something it's not very clear" I say

"But we know we did I'm over with and everyone is going to call me a cheater and so many bloody things" she says as she speed drives

"Slow down Dua" I say

"You know in way this is your fault" she says

I feel it the small little fire that resides in me getting poured with more fuel quickly because I don't feel sad about what she just said just angry. I get it but this is the truth, we're in a relationship where we love each other or I guess I love her because I'm willing to do anything for her and this is what I receive for that?

"Fuck you Dua stop this fuckin car and let me off now" I say

"Hell no" she screams

"If you don't stop it I'll just get out myself" I tell her

"I'm not going to stop so shut up" she says

"Fine" I say

I open the car door and jump out. Feeling my skin scrape on the hard concrete. Feeling every scar developing until I finally hit my head.

•flashback•

"Think about it though when we come out publicly all the places we can make out" Dua says

I love hearing her mention the day she might actually want us to be publicly involved but I quickly and sadly remember that she mentioned that she wasn't planning on making this something important because she didn't want to marry me or anything.

"You're always thinking of making out with me never about just simply holding my hand or talking about literally anything because it's almost all we do now just make out" I say

"That at all comes included obviously, I love conversations we have more than I basically love anything in the world, you're the only person I can be myself with" she says again with those brown starry eyes

"Do you regret this sometimes?" I ask

"Sometimes I just regret being famous more than us, if I weren't famous it would be easier for me to accept us more than I should but it's hard to regret us because you're my best friend too" she says

She puts her arm on my cheek and runs her thumb in a circle gently while keeping that beautiful eye contact.

"You healed my heart" she says

•present•

My eyes opened but everything was blurry as hell. Pain started draining in from head to toe. My vision getting less blurry I start realizing I was on a couch, not a couch I'm familiar with at all. I try moving around but everything hurts causing me to grunt a bit.

I hear foot steps coming fast and closer. I stay still as I can possibly be because I have no idea who it can be. I don't know whose house this is let alone the person who lives here.

"Thank god you're alive" I hear her voice, Duas

She gets on her knees to be in level with me. I don't smile or show any expressions but I was so relieved it was her and not some weirdo. But I remember why I'm here and why I'm hurt because everything was my fault remember?

"I don't know what to do but to apologize for saying what I said I didn't want to take you to the hospital even though I should've anyways but I called a friend of mine and he got you stitched up" she says

I don't do anything but stare at her. She had puffy eyes so I'm assuming she was crying but was it because she was worried for me or because she's receiving a lot of hate. I had nothing to say to her.

She grabs my hand and places it on her cheek.

"I'm really sorry Y/n I just let it all get to my head but I didn't mean it" she says

I stare at her still, this time my throat starts burning up because I'm not okay right now, my eyes begin to fill up with water. I'm so tired of loving her and I don't think love is supposed to do that.

This sadness is addicting but it doesn't mean I have to take it forever. I hate the new her I miss the old her or maybe I just miss myself before her because all I can remember now are just things about her. I forgot about my life without her that's how far she has taken me from me.

"I would've died if you died" she says

•flashback•
"If you were to die I'd die with you" Dua says as she feeds me chicken soup.

I developed an ugly fever and she was here taking care of me. Never had anyone care for me as much as she does it's funny in a way. I hate the term best friend because I've never truly had one but I think she may be becoming one.

"No one voluntarily wants to die so I highly doubt that" I say

"I doubt that so don't die" she says and jumps onto my bed next to me

"Well sorry but I don't think I'd die for you I would most certainly wish I was dead to be with you though but not really" I laughed

•present•

"Where are we" I finally say

Just because if we're close enough to my home I can leave right now or at least know how far I am to get an Uber of some sort. I don't want to be around Dua right now, I think I want this to actually be over.

"My beach house" she says

Since when did she have a beach house? See I just learn more and more that I never knew about.

"Where's my phone" I say

"Why?" She asks

"Because it's my phone" I say

"Okay well its under you" she says

I lift myself up but I quickly fall because of the amount of pain I'm in. Still surprised I didn't die, it's not what I wanted anyways I don't know why I even did it I guess I was just angry too.

"Here let me help you" she says

She lifts me up slowly. Why is she so caring at the worst time like I have to be hurt for her to do this much for me? She grabs my phone and set me down gently. She stares at me after with those brown eyes full of empathy which is rare.

She leans into me and places her lips on mine. I don't make any sudden move I just let her do all the work. I still love her lips on mine but I still don't know what I want for us.

"I love you so much and I was thinking that I truly don't care if people hate me or anything I just want to have you" she says

"I don't know" I say

Her face begin to sadden. She falls and sits on the ground. What she just said shocked me, never did I think those words would come out of her mouth. I needed time to process everything.

"You know there were a lot people who already thought we had something and were waiting for this moment, my manager says we can either say we did or not because as you mentioned it wasn't clear but I want to make that decision together" she says

Is she finally coming to her senses or was there some sort of catch to all of this? I fear her in a way. I fear that i might say the wrong response to her thing she wants to do "together".

"I don't know if to believe anything coming out of your mouth Dua" I say