Old you - Dua Lipa

10

"Let's go to the beach beach" Dua singing along to Starships

I was just laughing the entire time.

We were on our way to the beach obviously and it was Saturday so we were able to spend the whole day together. It was always funny when she sang anything very not English because of her accent.

She grabs my hand and kisses it as she's driving.

"I'm so excited to finally spend the entire day together" she says with the biggest grin

"Me too cutie" I say

"I think he's breaking up with me soon he's pretty upset I'm hanging out with you tonight instead of him" she says

"John is finally getting over me too if that's news" I say

"What how do you know?" She says

Maybe I just made a mistake in mentioning him but hopefully she won't go crazy like last time.

"He came over yesterday to check out how I'm doing in guitar and he said he was finally accepting the fact that we won't ever happen" I say

"Don't know why he didn't figure that out a long time ago because you clearly told him to fuck off"

"I didn't though I kept him attached and maybe that was hurting him and he asked why I never will fall for him and I felt bad lying to him"

" why do you care about his feelings so much if you don't love him? It's a little odd to be honest especially how you were so quick to hurt my feelings by leaving me" she says as she grips the steering wheel

Again? What was wrong with her all of a sudden it just wasn't her to get mad like this especially after I told her that John and I were just friends. It was getting a bit too much this how she was acting.

"I shouldn't have brought it up sorry"

I can't believe I'm apologizing for just explaining something.

"Yea don't" she says as she continues driving

•flashback•

I spent the rest of mine and johns date thinking of how Dua was feeling because she saw me with someone else. I felt so bad and wanted to apologize just in case I did hurt her feelings because even if I do have the right to be with someone else it doesn't mean Duas feelings don't matter.

"Well I'm finished and stuffed wanna head out?" John says as he wakes up my thoughts

"I think I'm going to get a taxi because I have to pick up somethings" I say but in reality I need to just find Dua

"I can take you" he says

"No it's fine thank you though" I say

He goes in for a kiss but I move out of the way. He looks at me confused because I never move when he goes for one.

"Alright then call me later?" He says

"Will do" I say

He leaves and I immediately look around to see if I can spot her just in case she hasn't. I find her all the way in the back of the restaurant she doesn't seem sad or anything she's just eating. I go up to her and just stand there till she gives me a sign that it's okay to talk.

"Don't worry I understand" she says

"You're not upset?" I ask

"Nope I can't be because you're not mine to lose especially because of the things I make you handle"

"I'm still sorry if it somehow hurt your feelings"

"Don't be I'm sure I hurt yours too please sit down" she says 

I felt so happy that she wasn't mad at all or sad about it, at least that's what she's showing. Dua was always understanding anyways so it shouldn't surprise me but this was just something different.

"He's good to you right?" She ask

"Yea he is we have a lot in common too" I say

"That's good as long as you're happy I understand if you want to stop what we do permanently" she whispers

I hadn't really given thought to that yet. I liked Dua and I liked what we had but ending it would be the most logical thing to do so I guess yea I did want to stop it. I think I love John and he deserved to have me completely to himself not just half of me.

"Yea I think it's best to do that" I say

"Sounds good best friends as always okay and if he's the reason you've been avoiding me you're stupid because you could have just told me" she says

•present•

We had finally made to the beach and we set our towels and laid together. She was glowing as always she truly was a goddess and I couldn't help but stare for too long. But I didn't stare for as long as I always did because the discussion we had in the car was still in my head.

"Dua can we talk?" I say

"Of course" she says as she readjust herself

"Why do you get upset whenever I talk about John yes I know it was because we had a thing but I've made it clear that I only love you"

"I just don't get why he's always brought up" she says as she turns her gaze from me to the sky

"You're right but I don't know you just get a little too upset you know"

"What If I talk about my boyfriend when we're out? Wouldn't that bother you?" She says

Hearing her call him that sort of ached my heart but it also just made me want to shut up all in general. Why didn't she just say his name or something why the phrase "my boyfriend". I wonder what she told him when we were out together was I even her my anything?

"Okay Dua" I say as I turn to not face her because I can feel in lump in my throat

It's so tragic how someone who can make you the happiest can also make you the saddest. Whatever was up with Dua now it was such a turn off now. Is it fucked up that I had rather spend my Saturday at home alone if this is how this was going to go?