Say 'Kiss'! • bxb

5. For the better

Tobias' P.O.V.

I didn't dare to say anything to Mateo after he came back to our room. He was angry and frustrated, started crying randomly and immediately fell asleep after that.

Something probably happened with Sarah, maybe he broke up with her. Of course, he's most probably blaming me and hates my guts but I can't say anything to defend myself.

I can't tell him that I'm gay. From the looks of it he'll probably bully me into oblivion, and tell the whole college in the process, to make sure he's destroyed my life completely.

It's a surprise that I was able to tell Sarah so easily, but maybe I was afraid she'll think badly of me. Who wouldn't want to kiss her? Even Lina told me that if she 'had to' she would kiss her in a heartbeat.

I just gave her a suspicious look but she didn't want to elaborate and changed the subject instead.

After I clean Mateo's hand he goes to sleep, obviously crying, but I don't want him to feel weird. So I grab a random book and look through it, knowing I should probably study since I have an assignment to do.

Before this whole 'kiss' thing, he mostly ignored me, didn't pay much attention to what I was doing. Only talked to me when absolutely necessary, both of us staying on our side of the room, not interfering with the other's life.

But now everything's messed up. It seemed like all his anger from the past few years - from exams or random people he used to hate- is now targeted towards me. Almost as if it finally found the means to escape and is now uncontrollable.

Why should I act nice with him then? Why should I be the one that is taking all the shit while not doing anything? If he really wants to be an asshole I'll give him a reason to hate me.

There's a knock on the door and I slightly flinch, being afraid that someone might've heard my thoughts and is now coming to tell Mateo everything.

Greg looks at me with an apologetic smile and asks me if Mateo is with me, even though his eyes already scanned the room throughout. I let him come in and close the door behind me, not even bothering to answer his question.

"Mateo... Wake up... We need to talk" he's gently shaking him by the shoulder but I'm having none of it.

I smack the back of his head and he stands up immediately, looking confused at us while Greg is almost crying, acting all emotional.

"I found out what happened" he hugs him and Mateo seems completely out of it, like he doesn't even know what he's been through today.

But then it all comes back to him, he gently pushes Greg away, and starts talking about it. From the beginning, when he and Sarah first started dating and how happy she seemed to be by his side. Their dates, nights out, pictures and memories all being told by Mateo, with tears in his eyes, taking glances at me, making sure I'm listening to him.

A part of me feels sorry for him, but I don't feel guilty at all. Even though that's probably his goal, burning holes in my head while he's glaring at me.

"Don't worry. It'll be okay" Greg hugs him.

I'm just watching everything unfold, the kiss replaying in my head a few times. It's unfortunate, but it can't be that they broke up just because of the kiss. There were definitely other problems in that relationship that led up to this.

Greg stays for some time, to comfort his best friend. I've never seen Mateo so broken, so depressed. His voice was shaking with every word and after the anger he had for me passed, there was only sadness left.

From the look in his eyes, this sandess was piercing, eating him from the inside out. Seeing him like that also made me feel kind of sad. Isn't it weird that when you see the people close to you struggling your chest gets heavier too?

Like a terrible cold, sadness becomes contagious. It infects everyone around the person who is suffering. This is why it's so dangerous. You don't realise that you're sinking until you're gasping for air and waving your arms around.

"I just want to lay down"

"Okay... Call me if you need something" Greg says before leaving.

The room is now quiet, except for Mateo's broken sobs here and there. I don't say anything because I know that if I do it'll only make it worse than it already is. I don't want him to suffer more than he already does.

Is he an asshole? Yeah, most of the time. Does he get on my nerves a lot? Of course. But does he deserve to cry in his bed while wrapping his arms around himself for comfort? No. Nobody does.

But I do what I always do best. Sit there and say nothing. Pretend the world around me doesn't exist and that I can't hear him.

Maybe it's for the best.

Maybe it's for the better.