Say 'Kiss'! • bxb

14. Best friends

Mateo's P.O.V.

Before I can realize what the fuck is happening, Greg opens the door, making both of us hiss at the sudden light.

"Okay loverbirds. It's enough kissing for you. Also how did you two not kill each other?" Greg says but I can't even pretend to laugh at how stupid I feel.

Before Tobias can run away, I grab his hand and whisper in his ear, careful that nobody else hears us.

"Does she know?"

He looks at me and nods before turning around and sitting down next to Lina and her brother. Everyone is smirking at us, and examining us from head to toe, but there's no evidence that we were actually making out in there.

Because we weren't. He came out to me. In a closet. How ironic does that sound? How can I even show him that I support it? How can I bring it up?

I'm not homophobic, since I've liked a few guys myself, in high school, but I've never cared too much to put a label on my sexuality. Too much work, and who cares? As long as I'm comfortable, I shouldn't force myself into a box just because others tell me to.

It's crazy, that I feel relieved, even though I know I have no chance of being together with Sarah again. She said it herself. Our relationship is over. But for some reason I'm happy she can't be with Tobias either. I don't have to suffer, seeing her with someone else.

It makes no sense, but at same time it does. But what does it really mean? Him coming out? Does he trust me that much? Or maybe he just wanted to clear up the misunderstanding that I've been living in these past few weeks. Or maybe both?

There are so many unanswered questions, but all I can do I drink, bottle after bottle, as everything slows down around me. Everyone is talking, but I can't hear anything. It's like I'm in a weird place inside of my mind. Like I'm not really at the party, everything is a dream, and the real me is somewhere far away, sleeping.

Of course, the alcohol kicked in and we all started saying and doing weird shit, but with an excuse. The excuse of being drunk and young I guess. Lina is the only one that stayed sober to take care of her brother, that lost interest in the party and is now playing games on her phone.

"Basically... He was there trying to tie me up against the tree. I told him that we're in a park but he said 'fuck it' and carried on. The sex was banging tho. Even though I had ants in my pants for like a week after. Weird guy though"  Roxanne is saying some story from last year as Greg gasps, being way too invested.

All I can do is stare at Tobias, trying to understand if there were any signs that I missed, that gave him away. Well, first, the eyeliner. Maybe. Then, maybe the way he walks sometimes, like some kind of model. Or maybe the way he says 'girl' dramatically when Lina says something shocking - a thing I realized tonight.

Was I just blind? Was I an idiot? What can I do now?

I'm too drunk to care at this point, as we're all laughing.

"I have to go. You sure you don't want me to take you home?" Lina says at one point and both me and Tobias shake our heads.

"You can go. We're adults" he laughs, almost stumbling against his own legs trying to stand up from the couch.

"Yeah definitely" she doesn't seem convinced, but doesn't say anything else.

"The worst thing that could happen is me sucking Mateo's dick"

"What?" I laugh out loud and squirm around the couch like a fish on land as Tobias shakes his head like an idiot.

"Okay, don't suck dick on accident. Also don't kill each other"

"Us? Killing each other? We're like... Besties" I say and she rolls her eyes, finally leaving as Arun waves at us.

At one point Cheri Cheri Lady starts playing and I stand up from the couch, almost as if I'm electrocuted. Tobias laughs at me as I try to dance along to the beat, way too drunk for this.

"You're like my dad. He always goes crazy when he hears this song" he shouts at me.

"I have the taste of an old man. Can't help it" I probably look like a jellyfish tying to swim.

Surprisingly, when we're both drunk out of our minds we don't fight at all, but instead act like we've been best friends our entire lives. We laugh at basically nothing and have fun.

Out of nowhere Cardigan by Taylor Swift starts playing and I groan, thinking who the fuck plays depressing songs at a party. But by the way Greg is screaming the lyrics I can tell it was his idea.

The room is noisy, nobody cares too much since everyone is in their own world, drunk or high.

I sing the lyrics too, quiet at first but then get emotional, crying and screaming at the same time as Tobias is watching me confused.

"Wait wait! This is my favorite part!"

I wait for the bridge, waving my hands around and sniffling uncontrollably. It's almost as if all the memories of Sarah came flooding back, heavier than ever, their weight holding me down. Greg notices me and walks towards me.

We're both singing our hearts out, our hands extended towards each other like we're long lost lovers that are finally reuntied. Then we hold each other as the song ends and Tobias claps for us, with a smile on his face.

I wipe away my tears and go back to laughing in less than a minute, forgetting why I was even sad in the first place.

Time passes as some people are leaving, the night almost coming to an end, morning arriving soon. But it's still crowded, and Tobias holds my hand as he looks at me. All this closeness is weird, and out of nowhere. But I don't hate it.

"Wanna go out for a bit? It's hot in here" he asks and I nod.

We both stand up and for a second our conversation in the closet flashes before my eyes, remembering everything I said. I look at him and almost shake my head.

I don't hate him. That's why I'm angry. Because I can't hate him. No matter how much I'd like to I can't seem to hate him.