Say 'Kiss'! • bxb

23. Thinking is good

Tobias' P.O.V.

"Party at Sarah's place this weekend" Lina welcomes me with the words I most wanted to hear in this world after everything that happened.

"What's with these people and partying?" I ask, completely exhausted from assignments and work I had to stay up until late to complete.

Me and Mateo have been on good terms, not best friends but still friends nevertheless. He's not as annoying anymore as he used to be before. Or maybe I'm not as much of an asshole as I used to be. I don't know. But what matters is that we get along for now so I don't have to worry about him killing me in my sleep.

After the lecture, in which I haven't paid attention at all, is over, me and Lina talk about where we should go out to eat. Thankfully my parents already left San Francisco so I won't have to worry about running into them. Do I feel guilty about that? Yes. Can I do something about it? Not really.

I suddenly see Sarah walking over to us and it's like all thoughts I've ever had completely disappeared, leaving my head empty. For a moment I swear she's walking in slow motion, everything around us slowly disappearing.

Then she's in front of me and smiles at me politely.

"Will you come to the party?" she asks and I look at her confused then at Lina that doesn't say anything and keeps her expression neutral.

"Are we invited?" I awkwardly laugh "I mean after everything that happened" my smile fades and I am dead serious.

"Yeah why not. We're on good terms no?" she looks at me, still smiling and I don't even know how to answer.

It's not like we're friends. We didn't even have that many interactions and after the kiss I kept my distance to avoid causing even more rumours that could make Mateo angrier.

"I guess? Ehm... we'll go. I can't refuse a good chance to party"

Her smile becomes even bigger after that and she waves at us, leaving. Me and Lina both stare at each other, confused and wondering what just happened. Since when was Sarah so friendly with us when we haven't even interacted in any way before?

"Okay. That was weird" Lina shakes her head then stares at me.

I know what she's thinking.

"I don't know if I'll go" I sigh.

I don't know what I should do. Maybe this is some kind of peace offering. If I go, will there be a chance that Mateo will be angry? Will people talk about it? About what happened? The kiss?

But if I don't go, won't it seem like I have a one sided grudge with her? She seemed all smiley and friendly just now. So that means I'm the bitter one if I avoid her. But it would make sense after everything that happened, no?

"Damn it" I whisper to myself but Lina hears it and crosses her arms over her chest.

"You don't have to go if you don't want you. Plus you don't own these people anything. Let them talk if they wanna. You didn't do anything wrong"

I sigh, feeling down for absolutely no reason. Well except the party. I've been in a shitty mood since this morning, and I can't explain myself why. Just why? Nothing happened so why? Or maybe is it foreshadowing?

I trust my instincts.

I'm practically a corpse, dragging myself from lecture to lecture, my feet feeling heavy. No matter how many coffees I drink, I still have a hard time keeping my eyes open.

As soon as I get back to my room I throw myself on my bed and try to relax. But I toss and turn, Sarah's words from earlier ringing in my head. And Mateo's words too. Every single word he had said to me, the nice ones of course.

How he acted gets on my nerves. I'm conflicted. One minute he compliments me and cuddles me, then he goes back to being an asshole. Now we're friends, but are we really? Am I overthinking it? Was it that easy? I just had to apologise?

He's not back yet so I have the time to look at his bed and zone out. If he were here...Wait, do I wish he were here?

I groan and rub my forehead in frustration then realisation hits me. Is he also invited to Sarah's party? And will he go? Is going to your ex's party a good idea?

The door to the room opens and Mateo comes in, snapping me out of my thoughts as I immediately stand up and look at him. He looks at me, awkwardly for some reason.

"Hi uh...Did I wake you?"

"I wasn't sleeping. Just laying down. Thinking..."

About you? Should I say that? Will I seem like a creep?

"Oh! Yeah! Thinking is good!" he chuckles and sits down on his bed while I make a confused face.

What? "Thinking is good"? What is he even trying to say?

I raise an eyebrow at him but keep silent. Why is he so awkward out of a sudden? Is this about Sarah's party? Or is it something else? Did he realize he might've made a mistake by saying we're friends?

"Well...I uh...I'll go to the bathroom" I stand up, trying to act as casual as possible and he nods.

I look into the mirror and sigh, splashing some cold water on my face.

What the fuck is happening?