Say 'Kiss'! • bxb

16. Last night

Mateo's P.O.V.

I wake up feeling hugged by someone and want to be engulfed by the warmth, turning around and hugging them back. I sigh happily, feeling comfortable. But then reality hits me and I wonder who I brought back, and probably fucked, in my bed.

When I see that the one I'm cuddling is Tobias, I feel my world crumbling before me. Confusion mixes with fear in a disastrous combination that makes me scream and fall down from the bed.

He wakes up too, ruffling his hair and looking down at me. His eye liner is runny, making him look like a racoon. What the fuck happened last night? Did we...? No it's not possible.

Tobias is wearing all his clothes. I remember taking my shirt of at some point in the middle of the night because it was too hot. As hard as I'm trying, no memories from yesterday seem to come back to me.

Only Tobias' coming out is engraved in my head, like an important information, that I'm not supposed to forget, ever. What happened after that? How did we even get home? I was high, then I cried, and I got drunk. The whole thing is a blur and a headache hits me suddenly.

"Calm down. You're gonna give yourself a nosebleed"  Tobias stands up and stretches his hands.

I look around the room, see our shoes thrown against the floor, dirty as if we went through hell and back. What the fuck happened last night. There's also Tobias' shirt hanging from the closet door.

"Did we... What happened?" It's the only thing that comes out of my mouth and Tobias smirks.

I stand up and sit on the bed, probably looking as if I'm having war flashbacks. He walks towards me and leans over, whispering in my ear.

"Don't you remember? It's a shame. You really got me screaming your name in pleasure"

"What?" I almost cry because of the confusion and he just punches my shoulder lightly.

"I'm just fucking with you. We laughed all the way home and ate ice cream. Then you said that you feel lonely. So we slept in the same bed" 

He's saying all that as if it's a daily occurrence, nothing new. Meanwhile I'm trying to imagine it, to understand how we could've been so friendly with each other.

"You also said you don't like strawberries. What a crime. I'll go take a shower" he walks to the bathroom while I stare at the wall in front of me.

It takes me some time to process everything, to try and find as many memories as I can, putting a puzzle together piece by piece. There's a faint memory of us taking our shoes off, walking down the cold pavement.

Then us buying the ice cream, mine falling to the ground. Us laughing next to the trash can. Singing together. All are in bits and pieces, hard to understand, like they're all chapters of a book that makes no sense. Or different episodes of a series.

"Fuck" I ruffle my hair and stand up, pacing around the room.

Sarah's face from the party is coming back to me as the bottle landed on me, Tobias' eyes widening. I don't even know what I expected to happen during those 7 minutes in that closet. But him coming out probably didn't cross my mind at all.

He comes out of the shower and I sprint at him, shaking his shoulders like a lunatic, probably ready to let out all my frustration on him.

"You're gay? Why didn't you say anything before?"

"I don't know! Stop that!" he slaps my hands away and dries his hair with a towel.

"But technically it's still your fault... I mean... You did kiss her after all"

He rolls his eyes

"I told you I'm gay. I don't care if you think it's my fault or not. You just need to know I have no intention of dating your um... Ex girlfriend"

Ex girlfriend. I don't know why him calling Sarah my ex infuriates me so much, but it does and I'm losing my mind again. So I point a finger at him, trying to sound threatening.

"Don't call her that"

"But she is though, isn't she? Your ex, I mean"

I lose my patience and grab him by the collar - I think it became some sort of routine for me to do this. He doesn't change his bored expression however and that makes me even more angry.

"My patience is running thin. Just stay away from me, like you did all this time"

"Wow. Such an asshole. A shame. You were so fun and friendly when you were drunk"

The way he's speaking is doing something to me. It's scratching my brain in the wrong way, making me feel like everything that comes out his mouth is literally poison for me.

"We're not friends" I say, clearly, almost as if I'm establishing it, like a rule.

"I know" Tobias takes my hand of his collar, staring right into my eyes.

I turn around and sit down on my bed. I don't want him to get the wrong idea. Just because we did some shit while we were drunk doesn't mean we're best friends now. He still kissed my girlfriend, gay or not, the picture still going around, even today.

Ex girlfriend. Girlfriend. Shit. I don't know. We're not dating anymore but I can't bring myself to call her my ex just yet. I still have hope that this is just a big fight, that she'll be back in no time and we'll be a couple again. I know it won't happen, but I still hope.

"You also said you like dick" Tobias suddenly says and my whole face goes red.

"I said what?"

I'm scared of myself when I'm drunk. Getting all friendly and bubbly with everyone, saying whatever is on my mind, having no filter.

I turn on my phone and see ten missed calls from Greg. He screams at me like some kind of mad mom, telling me how we said 'we'll go out to take a walk' and didn't come back. I clear up the misunderstanding, tell him everything.

Then I sigh and look at the ceiling. What is wrong with me?