Hate Me (Chris Evans)

15

"So is it true that you're dating Chris Pine?" Noah asks as he lounges in my trailer along with the rest of my family before my Glastonbury set. I'm surprised my family even came - my parents especially considering they are not festival goers at all. 

"Fuck off". I roll my eyes. "We had dinner and drinks, I've known him since last year and he was in London".  That's not a lie. We really were just having an innocent catch up over dinner, although the press were once again tipped off and were out in full force by the time we left the restaurant. 

I think soon I'm going to need to take a break from everything and enjoy some time without any cameras violating my privacy. Still, at least it's not as bad compared to being over in the US. I think I'd have had a nervous breakdown by now if I were over there and being stalked all the time. 

Noah smirks, knowing exactly what buttons to press to annoy me. "So is that a yes?" 

"No!" I say and look at my mum and dad. Sienna is currently engrossed in having some make up applied by my hair and make up artist and is thrilled with just how glittery she is. The perks of having a famous Aunt. "And before you guys say anything - I'm still single". 

"We weren't going to say anything". Mum defends them although I could see she was about to open her mouth and ask me flat out whether I was hiding the truth. 

Nope. 

Ever since the whole hotel talk with Chris (why does everything always lead back to a hotel with us?) I've just been focusing on my music. He listened to the song, he sent a whole ass long email back to me, but I haven't read it. I was too chicken to. Instead it's sitting in a private folder untouched. Jen did encourage me to look, even tried to get me drunk to boost my courage, but even drunk me refused to touch it. Instead drunk me passed out and was proud of herself for not drunk dialling Chris when she woke up the next morning.

Drunk me seems a little more responsible than sober me nowadays. 

Mum is fanning herself now, even the the trailer is air conditioned. "Did they really have to choose the hottest weekend of the year to hold this thing?" She complains. 

"I really don't think Glastonbury controls what kind of weather to have when the festival comes around". I smirk, thanking my stars I'm just in a bralet and shorts. I'm playing the pyramid stage in just under an hour, so Jen is currently running around making sure everything is in place. 

I'm looking forward to playing some old favourites from my first album, as well as some newer stuff. It'll be a nice mix. 

"Essie! Do I look pretty?" Sienna asks now she's done with her festival make up and looks pleased. 

"You look better than me". I grin and take a picture of us both to upload to Instagram. "You looking forward to it?" 

She nods. Apparently she's not shut up to her friends at school about being here today. She all but made me promise to play 'Stay Awake' as it's her favourite currently. In my opinion she has picked a festival anthem right there. 

Jen emerges a short while later, meaning it's time for me to go and perform.

And of course the atmosphere is electric once I'm out there. To see that many people out there and singing along. It's like no other feeling. 

Well, there is another feeling that's better, but over the last couple of months I've managed to keep that at bay. It will eventually just disappear, but it comes with time. I'm hot and feeling exhausted by the time I come off stage and am congratulated by everyone backstage. Sweaty hugs all around before I head for my trailer to freshen up and check out a few other sets before Jen and I leave. 

"Your phone buzzed". Jen says as I flop down after getting changed, reaching and looking at the screen. 

Chris: Just watched your set online - you were amazing as always. C x

I try to imagine him sitting at home watching the set live on his laptop - why I haven't blocked his number is just another sign of me not cutting this cord as properly as I would have liked it. 

I close the message, but can't bring myself to block the number. I don't know if I ever will. 

**

I wake groggily once I'm home and tucked up in bed hours into the next morning, to the blazing light of my phone screen and the actual thing vibrating on the table next to me. Fumbling for it I just answer without looking to see who it is. 

"Hello?" I say sleepily and then sit bolt upright as the familiar accent sounds down the line. He's not drunk, doesn't sound it in the slightest, but his words say enough to jolt me awake properly. 

"I need you..."