Losing my Religion (nyo Fruk)

7

"Aren't you curious about it?"

"No, I try not to think of the pleasures of sin."

"Well, I guess you wouldn't be religious if you did...it is interesting."

"Wait, so you are saying you have, then?" I sat up quickly, looking at her. We were lying on the beach beside each other, talking about masturbation. We had only stayed in the water for a bit, till we decided it was time to get out. "Me? Of course, I have. It's so much easier because I know what I like. However, in your case, you are clueless. I would gladly volunteer to help you figure it out, though," she spoke.

I had never thought of masturbation, but, I was curious.

"Wait, so how does it work? I just place my hand down there?" I asked. I placed my hand on top of my privates, and she began to laugh. "More or less...well, there are different ways to masturbate. Sometimes girls can get orgasms from inserting into their vaginas...or...you know...playing with certain areas."

She sounded so wise; I had never heard any of this stuff before. We were only taught how to reproduce. "Wait! What's an orgasm?" I asked. She turned to me, a bit nervous, and thought momentarily. "Well, it feels good. It makes you feel really good. We all have a clitoris...it's uh...at the top... if you massage it a bit, you could have an orgasm. Then...there are erogenous zones...nipples...your neck, stomach, thighs... they can all be one. Every girl is different," she explained.

I didn't even care about the sinful context of this anymore. I'm more stunned that I didn't know any of this. Could my body make me feel that? And I didn't know? But now that I know...

I'm curious...

"Wait, you said the...clitoris is at the top? Where is it?" I asked. I didn't think; I wanted to know. I reached my hand down to my privates, and she immediately stopped me. "NOT HERE!" She warned. She had gotten close to me, grabbing my hand from going further.

I wasn't sure what came over me, but I wanted to know.

My teachers in the past never liked me for my curious mind, and here it is getting the better of me again.

"I want to know where it is!" I demanded.

"Not here? It's at the top!"

"Let me just feel! It won't take long!"

She stopped grabbing my hand as I pulled away. She even looked away from me as I struggled to feel myself up. However, I couldn't feel anything. "What is it supposed to feel like?" I asked. She still refused to look at me.

"It's...like a...ahhh...a ball? Yeah....a tiny...ball..."

"A tiny...ball...."

I don't feel anything like that.

"I don't think I have one. Are you sure?" I asked. She turned to me quickly, looking flustered. "Do you want me to show you? I can just...put your hand there?..."

She stuttered the last part, and I felt too stunned to speak. What am I doing? This conversation alone had to be a sin! Then...to let myself...let her...touch my areas in such a way, was also a sin.

Double sin!

Would I go to hell? Or maybe...confession could cover this up?

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Do it; show me!"

I looked at her seriously and suddenly felt that tingling sensation again. My body felt hot, and my face felt as if it had turned red. I had this weird, exciting feeling, and it was almost as if I was begging her to touch me.

"Are you sure? I don't want to do anything you are uncomfortable with..."

"You said it would be quick! Besides, this is for educational reasons...I only want to understand what it is," I spoke. I had begun to sit up, seeing her do the same. She pushed her glasses up, coming closer to me. "Okay...then before I do it...I want to let you know that I will feel around for it first, then place your hand there. Is that alright?" She asked.

You know in the movies where there is a main character, and they have two figures—one on each side of their shoulder. One was an angel! The angel was there to lead the character down the true, good path. Then, there was the other side, with the demon on that side. The demon tempted the character into sin.

However, the character does whatever they want to do, whether good or bad.

This was me.

My angel and demon sides were arguing and trying to convince me of their side. However, I was going to do what I wanted to do. What I was curious about. It had nothing to do with it being good or bad. I was curious, and I wanted to know end of the story.

"I trust you," I spoke. She nodded at me slowly and smiled. It was as if she was smiling to try and reassure me. "Don't worry, it will be quick..." she spoke. I nodded at her, and she came closer.

The atmosphere had turned serious. Once I felt her hand touch my knee, my heart exploded. She pulled herself closer toward me, using the hand on my knee to spread my legs a little bit. "Keep your hand...right here...so it can be easier for me to show you," she spoke.

I nodded at her in response. I placed my right hand on my thigh, close.

She was looking at me, intensely. She wanted to make sure I was comfortable. She looked ready for me to back out. However, I wasn't going to do that. She needs to get it over with already.

"Okay, I'm going to start, okay?" She asked. I nodded again, this time, closing my eyes. My heart was beating so fast that I could hear it screaming. I felt her hand touch my thigh, then, slowly move inward toward my...

"Hugh...."

"Right there..."

I took a deep breath in. Then, I felt my hands move as if trying to grab onto her. However, she stopped my right hand from going anywhere else. She held my hand back, placing it on the spot her hand was on, and I felt it.

Although, I can see why she didn't know how to describe it.

She suddenly pulled away, quickly turning away from me. "Sorry...I just...need a moment..." she spoke. I think I was more in shock than anything. That one little touch she gave me...felt...

Good...