Losing my Religion (nyo Fruk)

4

Now...I will be relaxed! I will be settled in this new country! With these new friends! Starting with Paros! Carmen, Julia, and I took the ferry to the Paros island. It wasn't a long ride, so I did not mind it very much. My only concern was that I kept thinking about that girl from the other day. It took so many hours for me to recover from what she said. I prayed to god to help me understand what I was feeling.

I truly believe everything happens for a reason; it is part of gods plan. So, I feel that seeing this strange girl was in gods plan for me. Maybe I was meant to question something about myself, but I do not know what yet.

Now, that girl was returning memories of things that happened to me when I was younger. She did not look like anyone I had known before, but her appearance was striking. The girl, who sadly I never caught her name...had long blonde hair. When she had it up, it was in a high ponytail, exposing the shaved part of her head. This girl was skinny and frail looking. Shorter than me, and had a small frame. She looked beautifully delicate. Her bold makeup consisted of dark colours. She wore black clothing—a black miniskirt with fishnets, and over the shoulder shirt that exposed her pale skin.

She had the greenest eyes I had ever seen. So green that it could take me into the forest. When I thought of green, I never thought of anything good or beautiful. Green was the colour of envy, jealousy, sneakiness, and deceit. It wasn't a colour I wanted to find alluring. Yet, looking into her eyes made me want to dive into the colour. To be surrounded by it because it brought me comfort.

Her very beautiful eyes.

Her smile.

Her...

She...

This woman...

I was feeling traumatized by the whiplash she gave me.

"Francine, you sure do daze out very often. Are you okay?" Carmen asked. I jumped, hearing her voice, snapping out of my thoughts. "Ah! Yes! I am perfect! Just thinking!" I replied. I could tell that my response may have seemed nervous and unsure. But really! I was fine!

That girl never showed up for mass, or the service this past Sunday, but it wasn't a big deal. Sure, was I hoping shed show? A little. Am I hurt she didn't?...

A little...

But it was okay.

"Great, our hotel is this way," Julia spoke. She led us, and I followed behind, taking in the full view. We were not doing much together today, so maybe I could sneak away to the beach for a bit. I wouldn't swim, but I wanted to see the people having fun. This trip was to connect the three of us together, spiritually and socially. We would have prayer sessions every day, and talk about our lives. I even was able to have my room to myself! How exciting!

~

Once arriving at the hotel, we checked in and went our separate ways. The three of us decided to call it a day. We had been travelling all day, and it took so much out of us. I do admit that I was exhausted, but I was not ready to lie down and sleep. I wanted to explore. The sun was going to set within two hours, and I was going out.

I wouldn't get into trouble, but it was like I said. I wanted to explore. Being away from home also meant that I could finally have some freedom. No curfews, no warnings, no anything. I was free to express myself and do something I wanted to do, alone! No one else! That is all I wanted.

So, once I finished getting dressed, I went to one of the popular beaches on the island of Paros. France did not have many beaches, and the beaches were not as nice as the ones here. I would jump in if I could, but I did not want people to see my pathetic excuse for a swimsuit. Honestly, it looked like something a grandmother would wear. I still would not get a different either; I could not bring myself to do that.

"Hello, may I have an orange juice?"

"Regular? Nothing in it?"

"Yes, please..."

" That will be two euros..."

I nodded at the bartender, taking out a coin. I sat at this lovely bar near the beach. I had a nice view of the beach and the people. For once, I was alone. I felt calm and relaxed, and most importantly, free.

I was bullied a bit toward the end of my school. My classmates thought I was...weird...

This is where that incident comes into play. I didn't mean to look. Now, I wish I didn't have eyes. I wish I could gauge my eyes, just as the bible says. However, that would kill me. I don't think I deserve death. Not necessarily.

"Hey, is this seat taken?"

"No, it is all yours—..."

I turned to respond to the voice.

And I truly believed that God had a plan for me.

A plan to meet this girl, somehow.

"Hey...DOLL FACE!"

My face felt red, seeing her. "You? What are you doing here?" I asked, shocked. What was she doing here? "Hmmm? I didn't realize you called dibs on this island...Should I have gone to Mykonos?" She laughed. The girl took a set beside me, looking around.

"Are you alone? Where is the rest of your cult?"

My eyes widened at what she said, and I felt...annoyed? "We aren't a cult!" I tried to defend. She was so mean! "Hmmm? You worship a 'higher being', have meetings, begin at a young age, have groups, statues, chants, and specific attire? sounds like a cult to me..."She smirked. Oh, I do not like her!

"Well...it..."

"See...no need to get speechless around me, doll face. I am more surprised that you are so religious. You weren't giving me those vibes. You were giving me..." she paused what she would say, looking me up and down. "Ah, I better not say it; you probably don't realize it," she laughed. She was mocking me! I wasn't sure how, but I knew she was!

"Ugh, I was having a great time before you showed up, so... I will be leaving if you will be insulting me the entire time." I stood up swiftly and watched as she still had that smirk plastered on her face. How is she even here? What business does she have on this island, of all places? There were so many others to choose from! So why this one?

"HEY! Wait up! I was only having a laugh!"