"HEY! WAIT!"
"FRANCINE!"
Dear lord...
I wish I could say that I spent the entirety of my life faithful up until this point. However, that is a lie. I think I always doubted in the back of my mind but was too scared, to be honest with myself. I really wanted to see you, be with you, and be faithful, but the process was too long for me. I am not meant for religion...
I know I am not because if I were, this would be hard to walk away from everything I had always known. It wasn't hard. I chose Alice without a second thought. This will answer the question she had for me. Would I give up my religion for her...and the answer is yes. I would. I would do it forever if it meant I could spend a minute with her—a minute in my real feelings.
"Francine, wait!"
My brother grabbed my shoulder, turning me around. Once I did, I could see Amelia and Madeline looking at us worriedly. "Hey, leave her alone!" Alice spoke. She had pushed my brother's hands off me and came between us. "You don't know, Francine! She is just confused! You are making it worse! Back off!" My brother spoke. I felt disgusted.
I wasn't confused.
He shoved Alice a bit, causing her to back up. I was sure that Alice knew she would not be able to win this fight, but she did her best to seem confident. My brother would easily overpower her. "She isn't confused! She was being honest, and you have to accept it!"
"I don't have to accept anything! She is MY sister! YOU have only known her for two months. She was curious, and you got into her head. I am helping her now before she makes the biggest life mistake! She will regret being a sinner later in life."
"Louis! STOP! Do you hear yourself?" I finally said. He shoved Alice again, pushing her into my arms. Thankfully, I made sure she did not fall. It did not help that he was about to hit her. My brother looked at me, shocked, as I moved Alice behind me. Madeline and Amelia had come to almost protect her.
"Don't...don't do anything you will regret...if you are going to hit anyone, it should be me! I am not confused, and she did not tempt me into anything! I have always been this way. So, it isn't an illness....because, at least, those go away..." I spoke, terrified.
"You are going to ruin your life-"
"Then so be it...I can't spend another minute...with a group of judgmental people who only like the shiny outside part of me! Who wouldn't even accept how I feel...it is scary..."
He looked at me, shocked, shaking his head. "I won't support this lifestyle...I won't pay for your schooling or anything for you..."
"Then...so be it...I will be fine without a university education..."
He looked at me, shocked, surprised that I still wasn't giving in to his demands.
"No! You are my sister...I raised you!....and if you choose this life...choosing to destroy everything...we can never be brother and sister again...you will be nothing to me...you will be an embarrassment for the rest of your life..." he spat. It made me sad from he said, but I could only nod.
I turned away from him, looking at the girls. Amelia had tears in her eyes, holding Madeline, and Alice looked down sadly. She looked ashamed of herself. She was standing there like a sad child who had been scolded, despite not being scolded. It made me wonder about the type of things she went through when she told everyone about her feelings.
"Goodbye, Louis...I think I will be okay with that..." I spoke. I turned to look at him, and his face grew angry. The girls looked at me, shocked, but I wanted to ignore all of these expressions. I backed away from my brother, grabbing Alices' hand. "Come on," I told them.
My brother was still speechless, but I did not bother to look back at him. "Francine, what about your-"
"Let's go," I demanded.
They all nodded at me, and we began to walk away from my brother, who was not happy. He kept shouting demeaning things toward Alice, but I did not want to say anything back. I was not the type of person to deal with confrontation, and I do not think I was ready to start now.
So, this was it. I would never be a member of this religion again and have to drop out of my educational courses. This was the only way for me to be myself freely and truly. "I am sorry," Alice whispered. I shook my head reassuringly, "Don't be...It is not your fault...I saw this coming," I whispered.
It was the only thing I could say. For some off reason, I felt sad about everything, almost traumatized. Suppose that was the right wording. However, I could not let this bring me down yet. I needed to figure out what to do now...then...once everything was settled...I could cry about it.
YOU ARE READING
Losing my Religion (nyo Fruk)
FanfictionIt is the summer before Francine begins her time in university. However, the continuing appearance of a strange girl leaves her confused as she is tryin to find herself . It would be so much easier to understand if Francine wasn't so, religious...