Don't blame me, love made me crazy
If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right
『the darkling x femaleoc』
pre-shadow&bone
extended summary inside
cover by @-judeduarte
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chapter four, is it hatred or...?
𝕷iya
LIYA HATED ALEKSANDER. That was a fact that was sown into her lungs and with every breath she took – she was reminded of it. Nevertheless, it wasn't all she felt for Aleksander. She once heard that there is a thin line between hatred and love and she never understood how different feelings could be so close. Well, she may have an answer now.
Apart from the obvious, he did something to her and she couldn't figure out what. Her sleepless nights became even worse – her dreams were plagued by his scent, of his shiver-creating voice. The distance that she placed between them in order to protect herself felt as if she tortured herself with it, rather than protected herself with it.
It wasn't that forgave him – she wasn't sure she ever will, but she wasn't afraid of him. The Darkling was a powerful and influential man who went over norms and limits. She experienced that and she learnt that about him the hard way. The captivity of General Zlatan will haunt her nights. And the little month she spent away from the Little Palace only showed that she wasn't only escaping the Darkling. She was escaping from herself.
Perhaps she was twisted. She had every right to be. Perhaps the loss of the family, the life in the orphanage, the captivity and now this turned her into something she didn't want to be. She didn't want to feel something else apart from hatred towards him. But she would be an idiot to deny that. A part of her believed him and the rhythm of his heart that always increased when they interacted, but she has burnt once. It was not going to happen again.
It wasn't her fault that her body was reacting to him: his voice, his scent and his presence. Hopefully, he will listen to her and not show up and keep their distance until she will be safe enough to leave this place and go as far away as she wished.
"A penny for your thoughts?" Genya asked as they both were sitting on Liya's bed.
Genya's visits became more often – mostly at night when everyone was filled with dinner. It was the only time she could escape from the frowning Queen. Liya knew that Genya wasn't content with her being here, but they both understood what has happened and why it was important to wait.
Liya extended her hand to the side where her sister was sitting.
"It's a saying," Genya deadpanned.
"I know," she chuckled, "I still want that penny."
Genya deeply exhaled through her nose and smacked her hand away gently.
"I'm just thinking," Liya answered her question.
"About?"
Aleksander. "Baghra said that I'm improving," she clasped her hands on her lap.
